Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps - We Need Some Slags lyrics

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GAZ:

We need some slags, and we need lots of 'em.

Coz were goin on the pull tonight.

When weve got slags, and we've got lots of em.

They'll cheer you up and make it right.

JOHNNY:

but im not comin out out, im stayin here.

and get really, wobbly on beer.

GAZ:

just try a little brute for men, oh no it all got drank.

we all need a bosom, for a pillow or tit wank.

JOHNNY:

i've no need for a woman , when ive got my left hand.

a handy TUB of vaseline and a picture of my gran.

GAZ:

But we need tarts and we need lots of em. were goin on the pull tonight.

when weve got tarts and weve got lots of em. they'll all get pissed and have a fight. its ace.

JOHNNY:

but i dont want tarts. i want white lightning. there not my mummy. there rather frightning.

GAZ:

But im the king of pulling.

And you could learn so much.

you could learn that thing we saw last night on red hot dutch.

JOHNNY:

i dont need a girlfriend.

GAZ:

oh just come out and play.

JOHNNY:

i'll tell em that im too young.

GAZ:

i'll tell em that your gay

JOHNNY:

ok ill come for one pint.

and then i'll go back home.

GAZ:

nice one lad you wont regret it.

JOHNNY:

but ill make sure im alone<br />

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Thanks to susantheyak

Thanks to hannah montana for correcting these lyrics