In 1998 an incredibly wonderful and loverly bloke moved from Australia to Canada. There he met a Polar bear fuckin', ski-doo ridin' lumberjack who went by the name of Sexual T. As fate would have it, we met this cunt who played guitar and we started jamming. Then our guitarist was lured away by the promise of bountiful Cocaine and anal-japery. So we were left with our dicks in our hands so to speak. Not for long though, along came these other two cunts and we started jamming again. Things went smoothly for a fucking while, and we played our first gig on October 16, 1999 with no-future legends Red Alert. In our first year we played 34 fucking shows including a gig in NYC where we cleared the room when we played "Fuck America" HAR!HAR!HAR! We put out a 7" record and then the band broke up in a storm of protest and hatred. But we perservered, then one night we spotted this piece of shit asshole passed out in the gutter dressed in fun-fur leiderhosen. And that is how we met the degenerate sonofabitch Capt.Howdy. But we still didn't have a guitarist, enter Andy Class who had just got out of jail for unspecified "diddling" offences. We played lots of gigs and shit, went on fucking tour, put out a CD etc.etc. I've gotta go take a shit - get fucked.
