Live and direct from the honky tonk of doo-hop. Behold the greatest 50’s doo-wop, electro, hip hop group from the 80’s of all time. Three shit-faced extra terrestrials known amongst the elite simply as Donny, Preston and Holly. A couple of real gentlemen and one broad with a steady diet of cotton candy and flat soda pop to calm the nerves.
Donny “Ponyboy” Fontaine is a straight shooter who once won a trip to Reno Nevada in a James Dean look alike contest. Despite his uncanny looks he still has trouble with low self esteem at times. Donny began rapping in the summer of 56’ and has not stopped since. One of Donny’s greatest achievements was a freestyle battle he won at the country manor home for the mentally disabled. “As far as I’m concerned none of these retards stand a chance” said Donny prior to his landslide victory. With the wits of a pigeon and an ego big enough for five men Donny is destined to be a pretentious rock star of epic proportions.
What would the greatest Doo-Hop group of all time be without a super Producer/DJ extraordinaire. His name is Preston “Cutty” Moronie, a cool customer on the computer buttons with a penchant for domestic violence. In an interview Preston once asked a reporter,” what do you tell a women with two black eyes?” “what?” the reporter replied, “nothin’ you already told her twice” he yelled as he strangled the broad next to him. Despite being a registered sex offender and full time alcoholic, Preston sticks to his passion of creating timeless works of art. Donny and Preston first met in the fall of 62’ during a fist fight at a local Denny’s in the city of San Fernando. The two were involved in an altercation over what song was to be played over the jukebox. Preston wanted to hear some Fats Domino and Donny of course insisted on Martha and the Vandellas.
The waitress who stopped the quarrel was none other than Holly “Baby” Valentine. A big time hussie with a foul attitude and a mouthful of bubble gum. Holly was born in the jungles of South America but moved to the States after having killed several cops. With a voice like an angel and a mouth like a truck driver Holly hit it off perfectly with Donny and Preston. The three decided to start the doo-hop, electro, death-core super group “hyper crush”.
Hyper crush is part of San Fernando Valley’s aristocratic super elite known as “le brethren de molak” and are said to have ties with such people as Ralph Machio and the ever elusive Corey Haim. Hyper Crush seem to have the “rap game” in constant choke hold status with songs like “slow motion” and “disco tech”. It seems to be that once these three mad geniuses set their mind on controlling the universe at large there is nothing standing in there way!
HYPERCRUSH.COM
