FRANK ZAPPA

FRANK ZAPPA - You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)

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Artist: Frank Zappa

Title: You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)

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ENSEMBLE: (displaying Dummy #1)

Do you know what you are?

THING-FISH:

Dat what I ast ya!

ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is You is what you am

THING-FISH:

And DAT de trufe!

ENSEMBLE:

(A cow don't make ham...)

THING-FISH:

I meant dat now!

ENSEMBLE:

You ain't what you're not

THING-FISH:

Not even hardly...

ENSEMBLE:

So see what you got

THING-FISH:

And you got a lot o' lookin' t'do, junior!

ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is

THING-FISH:

Dat entirely TOO CORRECT!

ENSEMBLE:

An' that's all it 'tis!

THING-FISH:

Uh-HUHHHH!

ENSEMBLE:

A foolish young man

THING-FISH:

Bring dat dummy ovuh heah 'n show it to 'em!

ENSEMBLE:

Stashed away in SAN QUENTIM Ate de mys'try potatoes

THING-FISH:

Told ya 'bout dem 'taters!

ENSEMBLE:

EVIL PRINCE was inventin' Now he talk like de THING-FISH

THING-FISH: (manipulating the dummy)

("Hmmmm, Saffiiiee!")

ENSEMBLE:

An' he look like a MAMMY!

THING-FISH: (manipulating the dummy)

("See de mammy, now! See de mammy, now!")

ENSEMBLE:

His fav'rit CO-LOG-NUMM...

THING-FISH:

Smell like...

SISTER POTATO HEAD BOBBY BROWN, SISTER GHENGHIS ADONIS

OSMOSIS, SISTER JASMINE NOXEMA TAPIOCA:

CHITLINS!

ENSEMBLE:

Is de one dey call 'SAMMY'!

THING-FISH:

One-Adam-Twelve...see de mammy...

ENSEMBLE:

He finally layin'

THING-FISH:

Armed 'n dangerous, reproach wit cautium!

ENSEMBLE:

De whole thang down, 'Cept de NIVEA LOTIUM!

THING-FISH:

Rub it on good, now!

ENSEMBLE:

An de ROYAL CROWN!

THING-FISH:

Take good care o' dat "ASH"!

ENSEMBLE:

Do you know what you are?

THING-FISH:

You's a wimp...she's a shrew!

ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is

THING-FISH:

Got dat?

ENSEMBLE:

You is what you am

THING-FISH:

One-Adam-Twelve, see de mammy agin'!

ENSEMBLE:

(A cow don't make ham...)

THING-FISH:

And it never will...

ENSEMBLE:

You ain't what you're not,

THING-FISH:

Unless SCIENCE do somethin' 'bout it!

ENSEMBLE:

So see what you got!

THING-FISH:

I KNOW dey woikin' on it...

ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is,

THING-FISH:

Underneath VIRGINIA!

ENSEMBLE:

An' that's all it 'tis!

THING-FISH:

BOOG-BOOGMMM, Dano..."MAMMY ONE"! They toss dummy #1 into the

wings, an d introduce dummy #2 to HARRY & RHONDA. Their torture-chairs,

(on a rolling platform), are wheeled to center stage. The action takes place

all around them.

ENSEMBLE: (showing Dummy #2)

A foolish young man

Of de negro persuasion

Devoted his life

To become a caucasian

He stopped eating pork

He stopped eating greens

He trade his dashiki

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON: (manipulating the dummy)

("Uhuru!")

ENSEMBLE:

For some Jordache Jeans!

He learned to play golf

An' he got a good score

Now he says to himself:

"I AIN'T NO..."

THING-FISH:

"NIGNINT!"

ENSEMBLE:

NO MORE...HEY! HEY! HEY!"

THING-FISH:

One-Adam-Twelve, see de "NIGNINT" wit knife... proceed wif cautium...knife

may be open...

ENSEMBLE:

BWANA MA-COO-BAH

HARRY:

All Right! Let's go!

ENSEMBLE:

MERCEDES BAINNNZZZZZ!

ENSEMBLE:

Who is who?

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON: (singing)

I don't know...

ENSEMBLE:

'N what is what

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Somethin' I just don't know...

ENSEMBLE:

'N why is this

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Tell me now...

ENSEMBLE:

Appropriot

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

That's a funny pronunciation, If'n ever I heard one!

ENSEMBLE:

If you don't like

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Where'd you get that word?

ENSEMBLE:

What you has got

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Appropriot? The word is not!

ENSEMBLE:

Drop it in the dirt

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Drop it, yeah!

ENSEMBLE:

'N let it rot

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I can smell it now!

ENSEMBLE:

Someone else

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Here de come, here de come!

ENSEMBLE:

Will surely come

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I told you he was comin'!

ENSEMBLE:

'N pick it up

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

That's right!

ENSEMBLE:

'Cause he wants some

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

An' he wants it for free!

ENSEMBLE:

And when one day

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

There will come a day!

ENSEMBLE:

You wonder who

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I wonder too!

ENSEMBLE:

You used to was

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Who I was, anyway!

ENSEMBLE:

'N what you do

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I used to work at the post office!

ENSEMBLE:

You'll scratch your head

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

But I don't wanna un-do my doo!

ENSEMBLE:

'N look around

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

To see what's goin' on!

ENSEMBLE:

But what you lost

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Can't seem to find it!

ENSEMBLE:

Will not be found

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

A Mercedes Benz!

ENSEMBLE:

Do you know what you are?

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I know!

ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm the kinda guy...

ENSEMBLE:

You is what you am

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

That ought to be drivin'

ENSEMBLE:

A cow don't make ham

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

A four-fifty SLC...

ENSEMBLE:

You ain't what you're not

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

A big ol' RED ONE!

ENSEMBLE:

So see what you got

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk!

ENSEMBLE:

You are what you is

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin'!

ENSEMBLE:

An' that's all it is

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Gimme a five dollar bill!

ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

And an overcoat too...

ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Where's my waitress, yeahhhh!

ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

Robbie, take me to Greek Town!

ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm harder than yer husband; Harder than yer husband!

ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club, y'all!

ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

I'm goin' down 'n work the wall! 'N work the floor

ENSEMBLE:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS

SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON:

'N work the pipe, 'N work the wall some more!

ENSEMBLE:

AN' THAT'S ALL IT IS

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