FRANK ZAPPA - Titties 'n' Beer lyrics

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Terry bozzio (drums)<br>Roy estrada (vocals, bass)<br>Adrian belew (guitar)<br>Ed mann (percussion)<br>Patrick o'hearn (bass)<br>Tommy mars (keyboards)<br>Peter wolf (keyboards)<br><br>It was the blackest night!<br>There was no moon in sight!<br>(you know the stars ain't shinin'<br>'cause the sky's too tight)<br>I heard the scary wind!<br>I seen some ugly trees!<br>There was a werewolf honkin',<br>'long the side of me!<br><br>I'm mean 'n I'm bad, (y'know I ain't no sissy)<br>Got a big-titty girly by the name of 'chrissy'<br>Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...<br>'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, (mystery)<br><br>(how 're you doin'? )<br><br>I noticed even the crickets<br>Acted weird up here<br>And so I figured I might<br>Just drink a little beer<br>I said, gimme summa that what yer suckin' on...<br>But there was no reply<br>'cause she was gone!<br><br>Where's those titties I like so well,<br>'n' my goddam beer!<br>Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise<br>Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil!<br>(he's about this big!)<br><br>He had a red suit on<br>An' a widow's peak<br>An' then a pointed tail<br>'n like a sulphur reek,<br>Yes, it was him awright,<br>I swear I knowed it was!<br>He had some human flesh<br>Stuck underneath his claws<br>You know, it looked to me<br>Like it was titty skin!<br>I said, you son-of-a-bitch!<br>('cause I was mad at him!)<br>He just got out his floss<br>'n started cleanin' his fang<br>So I shot him with my shooter,<br>Said: bang! bang! bang!<br><br>Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: put it away!<br>You know, I ate her all up...now what you<br>Gonna say? <br>You ate my chrissy? <br>Yeah! titties 'n all!<br>Well what about the beer then? <br>Now, were the cans this tall? <br>Even her boots? <br>Would I lie to you? <br>Shit, you musta been hungry!<br>Yeah, this is true.<br>Don't they pay you good for the<br>Stuff that you do? <br>Well, you know, I can't complain when the checks come through...<br>Well I want my chrissy,<br>Oh yeah? <br>'n I want my beer<br>Hah!<br>So you just barf it back up!<br>Now, devil, do you hear? <br>Look:<br>Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!<br>I mean, I am the devil, do you understand? <br>Just what will you give me for your<br>Titties and beer? <br>I suppose you noticed this little<br>Contract here...<br>Yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore!<br>Don't call me that!<br>That's about the only reason<br>I learned writin' for!<br>Gimme that paper! bet yer horns I'll sign!<br>Because I need a beer, 'n it's titty-<br>Squeezin' time!<br>Man, you can't fool me! you ain't that bad!<br>Oh yeah? <br>Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had!<br>There was milhous nixon 'n agnew too!<br>'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!<br>Let's make a deal if you think<br>That's true<br>I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so...whatcha<br>Gonna do? <br>Heh? <br><br>Now hold on just a second...<br>You wanna make a deal with me hah? <br>Yeah!<br>Well ah, I don't know man, you know...<br>I just don't know about this...<br>What? <br>See, cause i...<br>Listen, you're...are you losing your nerve? <br>No man, it ain't got nothin' to do with nerve...<br>You're supposed to be the devil!<br>It's got to do...<br>You're supposed to be bad!<br>It's got to do with style, fool!<br>I don't know if you've the right style to get into hell,<br>You know...<br>Well, actually, to tell you...tell you the honest to god<br>Truth,<br>I'm very short on style as a matter of fact...<br>Yeah, I know...that's...that's what makes me wonder<br>But I have...i, I think I have something that<br>You may be interested in...<br>What is that? <br>You can have my soul<br>It's a mean little sucker<br>'bout a thousand years old<br>But once you gets it<br>You can't give it back<br>You gotta keep it forever<br>An' that's a natural fact!<br>Ooh wee!<br>Do you read me devil? <br>Oh yeah!<br>What? am I supposed to be scared, man? <br>Oh yeah, reety, aw-righty!<br>Oh yeah, that's real tough!<br>I bet you're real bad!<br>Listen fool, you've got to prove to me that you're rough<br>Enough to get into hell<br>That you've got the style enough to get into hell<br>So start talkin'...<br>Alright, lemme tell ya somethin'<br>Alright!<br>I'll prove to you that I'm bad enough to go to hell<br>Yeah!<br>Because I have been through it!<br>Yeah!<br>I have seen it!<br>Yeah!<br>It has happened to me!<br>Yeah!<br>Remember, I was signed with warner brothers<br>For eight fuckin' years!!!<br>Tell me about it!<br>Now you're talkin' about something!<br>Now how bad is that? <br>That sounds good to me, motherfucker!<br>So move right along<br>Tell me what your interests are, you know...<br>If we're gonna come to some kind of agreement,<br>I've got to know what you're all about, you know...<br>'cause I don't know if you're the right type for the...<br>For the place, you know<br>Look...lemme tell you what my problem really is, you see<br>Ok...<br>My problem is that I don't belong anywhere<br>Aha...<br>You see... I don't even belong where you are, you see<br>I hope not!<br>I, I'm a simple person, you know<br>I have very small desires in life<br>Titties 'n beer, you know<br>No! what? <br>Titties 'n beer!<br>No! no man, you're joking...<br>Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...<br>What? no! no please... no! not that! oh no man, no!<br>Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...<br>No! no! no! no! no! not titties 'n beer!<br>Oh I can't stand titties 'n beer!...<br>Titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer, titties 'n beer...<br>(I'm in you! I'm in you!)<br>Oh no! no! no! wait...<br>Ah! look at this! what am I gonna do with this thing? <br>...wait, wait, please no!<br>Hey! look at this!<br><br>No! don't sign it! give me time to think!<br>...hold on a second, boy, 'cause...that's<br>Magic ink!<br><br>Then the devil barfed<br>'n out jumped my girl<br>They heard the titties plop-ploppin'<br>All around the world, she said:<br><br>I got three beers 'n a fist fulla downs,<br>An' I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck<br>You clowns!<br><br>Then she gave us the finger!<br>(it was rigid 'n stiff)<br>That's when the devil, she farted<br>An' she went right over the cliff!<br>The devil was mad!<br>(I took off to my pad)<br>I swear I do declare!<br>How did she get back there? <br>I swear I do declare!<br>How did she get back there? <br>I swear I do declare!<br>How did she get back there? <br>I swear I do declare!<br>How did she get back there? <br><br>Alright!