FRANK ZAPPA

FRANK ZAPPA - Joe's Garage

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Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)<br>Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)<br>Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)<br>Ike willis (lead vocals)<br>Peter wolf (keyboards)<br>Tommy mars (keyboards)<br>Arthur barrow (bass, vocals)<br>Ed mann (percussion)<br>Vinnie colaiuta (drums)<br>Jeff (tenor saxophone)<br>Marginal chagrin (baritone saxophone)<br>Stumuk (bass saxophone)<br>Dale bozzio (vocals)<br>Al malkin (vocals)<br>Craig steward (harmonica)<br><br>A boring old garage in a residential area with a teen-age band rehearsing in it. joe (the main character in the central scrutinizer's special presentation) sings to us of the trials and tribulat<br>Of garage-band husbandry.<br><br>Central scrutinizer:<br>We take you now, to a garage, in canoga park.<br><br>Frank zappa:<br>(it makes it's own sauce...)<br><br>Joe:<br>It wasn't very large<br>There was just enough room to cram the drums<br>In the corner over by the dodge<br>It was a fifty-four<br>With a mashed up door<br>And a cheesy little amp<br>With a sign on the front said fender champ<br>And a second hand guitar<br>It was a stratocaster with a whammy bar<br><br>At this point, larry (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called toad-o) joins in the song...<br><br>Larry:<br>We could jam in joe's garage<br>His mama was screamin'<br>His dad was mad<br>We was playin' the same old song<br>In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would<br>Play it all night long<br>It was all we knew, 'n' easy too<br>So we wouldn't get it wrong<br>All we did was bend the string like...<br>Hey!<br>Down in joe's garage<br>We didn't have no dope or lsd<br>But a coupla quartsa beer<br>Would fix it so the intonation<br>Would not offend yer ear<br>And the same old chords goin' over 'n' over<br>Became a symphony<br>We would play it again 'n' again 'n' again<br>'cause it sounded good to me<br>One more time!<br>We could jam in joe's garage<br>His mama was screamin',<br>Turn it down!<br>We was playing' the same old song<br>In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would<br>Play it all night long<br>It was all we knew, and easy too<br>So we wouldn't get it wrong<br>Even if you played it on a saxophone<br>We thought we was pretty good<br>We talked about keepin' the band together<br>'n' we figured that we should<br>'cause about this time we was gettin' the eye<br>From the girls in the neighborhood<br>They'd all come over 'n' dance around<br>Like...<br><br>Twenty teen-age girls dash<br>In and go stomp-clap,<br>Stomp-clap-clap...<br><br>So we picked out a stupid name<br>Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks<br>'n' we was on our way to fame<br>Got matching suits 'n' beatle boots<br>'n' a sign on the back of the car<br>'n' we was ready to work in a go-go bar<br><br>One two three four<br>Let's see if you got some more!<br><br>People seemed to like our song<br>They got up 'n' danced 'n' made a lotta noise<br>An' it wasn't 'fore very long<br>A guy from a company we can't name<br>Said we oughta take his pen<br>'n' sign on the line for a real good time<br>But he didn't tell us when<br>These good times would be somethin'<br>That was really happenin'<br>So the band broke up<br>An' it looks like<br>We will never play again...<br><br>Joe:<br>Guess you only get one chance in life<br>To play a song that goes like...<br><br>(and, as the band plays their little song,<br>Mrs. borg (who keeps her son sy,<br>In the closet with the vacuum cleaner)<br>Screams out the window...<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>Turn it down!<br>Turn it down!<br>I have children sleeping here...<br>Don't you boys know any nice songs? <br><br>Joe:<br>(speculating on the future)<br>Well the years was rollin' by, yeah<br>Heavy metal 'n' glitter rock<br>Had caught the public eye, yeah<br>Snotty boys with lipstick on<br>Was really flyin' high, yeah<br>'n' then they got that disco thing<br>'n' new wave came along<br>'n' all of a sudden I thought the time<br>Had come for that old song<br>We used to play in joe's garage<br>And if I am not wrong<br>You will soon be dancin' to...<br><br>Central scrutinizer:<br>The white zone is<br>For loading and<br>Unloading only. if you<br>Gotta load or unload,<br>Go to the white<br>Zone. you'll love it...<br><br>Joe:<br>Well the years was rollin' by (etc.)...<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>I'm calling the police!<br>I did it! they'll be here...shortly!<br><br>Officer butzis:<br>This is the police...<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>I'm not joking around anymore<br><br>Officer butzis:<br>We have the garage surrounded<br>If you give yourself up<br>We will not harm you<br>Or hurt you neither<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>You'll see them<br><br>Officer butzis:<br>This is the police<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>There they are, they're coming!<br><br>Officer butzis:<br>Give yourself up<br>We will not harm you<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>Listen to that mess, would you? <br><br>Officer butzis:<br>This is the police<br>Give yourself up<br>We have the garage surrounded<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>Everday this goes on around here!<br><br>Officer butzis:<br>We will not harm you, or maim you<br>(swat team 4, move in!)<br><br>Mrs. borg:<br>He used cut my grass...<br>He was very nice boy...<br>That's disgusting!!<br><br>Central scrutinizer:<br>This is the central scrutinizer...<br>That was joe's first confrontation with the law.<br>Naturally, we were easy on him.<br>One of our friendly counselors gave him<br>A do-nut...and told him to<br>Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.

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