FRANK ZAPPA

FRANK ZAPPA - Dance contest lyrics

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Artist: Frank Zappa

Title: Dance contest

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FZ:

"One of, one of the things that I like best about playing in New York is this

particular place, because it has - it has a stage that is conducive to, how you

say in the trade, audience participation. Now if there's one thing that I really

like, it's, uh, audience participation. Now listen... I gotta figure out something

that I can, uh - do you think we should have another dance contest tonight?

Oh, hey - the injured person dance contest. Ah, well, let's see...Awright, I'll

tell you what we're going to do. Here's a, here's a guy who really wants to

be in the dance contest aw-reety, aw-righty, hey. Okay..."

BUTCH:

"You are great, man - you are great. You are the best, baby. Do 'Dinah-Moe

Humm.'"

FZ:

"All right, now wait a minute - what's your name? Hey, hey - what's your

name?"

BUTCH:

"Butch."

FZ:

"Awright, the dynamic Butch. Here's, here's a girl that wants to dance with

Butch. What's your name?"

LENA:

"Lena."

FZ:

"What?"

LENA:

"Lena."

FZ:

"Lena, meet Butch. Okay, Lena and Butch, couple number one. Heh heh.

Okay, let's see - that guy there, with his...that - that one there with the

teeshirt on - no, no, the other one - this one - no, no - no no no, wait a

minute, wait... well, you're - actually, you're very nice, though. Would you

like to come up here? ...Okay, but d'you think you can behave yourself?

You, you're sure you can behave yourself? ...Okay, what's your name?"

GUY:

"Tom, man. (mumble, mumble) you, baby, I (mumble, mumble)(gurgle) you

(mumble, mmf, etc.)."

GUY:

"Arrgh, mmmf, glurg, etc."

FZ:

"Awright, now wait a minute. Awright, awright, now wait..."

GUY:

"(mumble, mmf.) Ugliness! Ugliness!"

OTHER GUY:

"Frank, you're my buddy! Arrgh, mmf."

FZ:

"Awright, wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an important message to

deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and

you're cute, maybe you're beautiful, I just want to tell you somethin' -

there's more of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out.

Now..."

GUY (BUTCH?):

"Will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?"

FZ:

"Sure. All right, now you - he wants to get his girlfriend - go get your

girlfriend."

GIRL:

"Hey Zap!"

FZ:

"Good to see you again."

GIRL:

"Squeak!"

FZ:

"I know."

GUY:

"I ain't no fucking queer."

FZ:

"All right, now look, here's what we're going to do. Awright. Now. This -

they'll be mashed, I'll save them, I'll save them for later."

GUY:

"I'm not a fucking queer."

FZ:

"This man is trying desperately to let everybody know that he's not a queer.

He's not queer, he's not queer. Awright, and now... You are going to dance,

like you've never danced before..."

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