WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - Skipper Dan lyrics
rate me<BR>
I starred in every high school play<br>
Blew every drama teacher away<br>
I graduated first in my class at Juilliard<br>
Took every acting workshop I could<br>
And I dreamed of Hollywood<br>
While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard<br>
<br>
Hit the boards and paid my dues<br>
And got phenomenal rave reviews<br>
I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt<br>
I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone<br>
Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone<br>
But the years have come and gone<br>
And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out<br>
<br>
I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
Skipper Dan is the name<br>
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day<br>
And every time it's the same<br>
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears<br>
Just like they've done for the last 50 years<br>
Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside<br>
Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
<br>
Oh, the critics, they used to say<br>
I was the new Olivier<br>
Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe Cannes<br>
Aw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB me<br>
The only place you might possibly see me<br>
Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland<br>
It ain't exactly what I planned<br>
<br>
But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
Skipper Dan is the name<br>
And I'm doin 34 shows every day<br>
And every time it's the same<br>
I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow"<br>
But what's the difference, that's all behind me now<br>
Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin my pride<br>
And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
<br>
I should be there on Broadway<br>
Knockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men"<br>
But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes<br>
Again and again and again and again and again and again and again<br>
<br>
Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet!<br>
That's an African bull elephant...<br>
And there it is, the backside of water!<br>
What have I done with my life?!<br>
<br>
I shoulda listened when my grandfather said<br>
"Why don't you major in business instead?"<br>
Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died<br>
And I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
Skipper Dan is the name<br>
And I'm doin' 34 shows every day<br>
And every time it's the same<br>
Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears<br>
Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears<br>
Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I lied<br>
Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride<br>
<BR><BR>
<i>[Thanks to smashpro1 for these lyrics]</i><br>
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