WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - Handy lyrics

rate me

(Parody of Iggy Azalea's Fancy)

(Verse)

First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)

Re-modelling is my only passion (it's my passion)

And I'm the greatest in the business

Want referrals, yo!

My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)

I can help when your door jamb sticks (huh?)

There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)

I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks

Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)

Where you go when your disposal is rusted? (rusted)

Termite problem making, you disgusted! (yuck)

When your front window is busted? (hey hey hey)

Just one man that's always trusted

(Chorus)

I'm so handy, you already know

I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows

I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code

When your dishwasher's bout to explode

(Verse)

Now you see that your furnace is needing some service

I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous!

Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica

Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer

But all your pipes are antique, your water pressure's too weak

You got an attic full of dry rot because your roof sprung a leak

Your fridge is starting to reek, your hardwood floors really squeak

But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique

Now let me glue that (glue that) and screw that (screw that)

Any random chore you got, well I can do that (do that)

Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun

I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one

(Chorus)

I'm so handy, everyone said so

I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio

I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know

When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh

(Bridge)

Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn

Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want

Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none

I won't quit till I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb (aw)

(Verse)

Still rocking my screwdriver

Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver

Your heating bills are shockin'

I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking

Your house is a disaster, huh?

Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?

Let me be your stripper

Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker

(Chorus)

I'm so handy, you already know

I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low

I'm so handy, you should call this pro

I'm in the phone book and se habla Español