WEIRD AL YANKOVIC - Amish Paradise lyrics
rate me
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and *Jacob* plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even *Ezekiel* thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't carein fact I wish him well
'cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
There's no phone no lights no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like *Robinson* *Crusoe*
It's as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an amish paradise
We don't fight we all play nice
Living in an amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday soon I'll raise *another*
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else my brother I might have to get medieval on your *hiney*
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
We're all crazy mennonites
Living in an amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an amish paradise
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
Thanks to lyricwriter108 for these lyrics
