Tom Waits - Step Right Up lyrics

rate me

Step right up

Step right up

Step right up

everyone's a winner

bargains galore

that's right you too can be the proud owner of

the quality goes in before the name goes on

one tenth of a dollar

one tenth of a dollar

we got service after the sale

how 'bout perfume

we got perfume

how 'bout an engagement ring

somethin for the little lady

somethin for the little lady

somethin for the little lady

3 for a dollar

We got a year end clearance

we got our white sale on a smoke damaged furniture

you can drive it away today.

act now

act now

and receive as our gift

our gift to you

they come in all colors

one size fits all

no muss, no fuss, no spills

you tired of kitchen drudgery

everything must go

goin outta biz

goin outta biz

goin outta bizness sale

50% off original retail price

skip the middle man

dont settle for less

how do we do it

how do we do it

volume! volume!

turn up the volume!

you've heard it advertised

don't hesitate

don't be caught with your drawers down

don't be caught with your drawers down

you just step right up

step right up

that's right it fillets

it chops, it dices, it slices

it never stops

lasts a lifetime, it mows your lawn

and it mows your lawn

it picks up the kids from school

it gets rid of unwanted facial hair

it gets rid of embarassing age spots

it delivers the pizza

and it lengthens

and it strengthens

and it finds that slipper that's be enlodged under the

chaise lounge for several weeks

and it plays a mean rhythm master

it makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar

and it's only a dollar

step right up

it's only a dollar

step right up

'cause it forges your signature

if not completely satisfied

mail back unused portion of product for a complete refund of price of purchase

step right up

please allow thirty days for delivery

don't be fooled by cheap imitations

you can

live in it

live in it

laugh in it

love in it

swim in it

sleep in it

live in it

swim in it

laugh in it

love in it

and it removes embarassing stains from contour sheets

that's right

and it entertains visiting relatives

it turns a sandwich into a banquet

tired of being the life of the party

change your shorts

change your life

change your life

change into a 9 year old hindu boy

get rid of your wife

and it walks your dog

and it doubles on sax

doubles on sax

you can jump back jack

see ya later alligator

see ya later alligator

and it steals your car

it gets rid of your gambling debts

it quits smoking

it's a friend, it's a companion

it's the only product you will ever need

follow these easy assembly instructions

it never needs ironing

well it takes weights off hips

bust

thighs

chin

midriff

gives you dandruff

and it finds you a job

it is a job

and it strips the phone company

of free tapes and your while exchange

and it gives you denture breath

and you know it's a friend

and it's a companion

and it gets rid of your travellers checks

it's new, it's improved, it's old fashioned

well it takes care of business

never needs winding

never needs winding

never needs winding

gets rid of blackheads, heartbreak, and psoriasis

Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak buddy

c'mon, c'mon.

c'mon, c'mon.

cause it's effective

it's defective

it creates household odors

it disinfects

it's sanitized for your protection

it gives you an erection

it wins the election

why put up with painful corns any longer

it's a redeemable coupon

no obligation

no salesman will visit your home

we got a jackpot

jackpot

jackpot

prizes! Prizes! Prizes!

All were guaranteed

how do we do it?

how do we do it?

how do we do it?

how do we do it?

we need your bidness

We're going out of business

we'll give you the business

get on the business end of our

going out of business sale

Receive our free brochure

free brochure

read the easy to follow assembly instructions

batteries not included

send before midnight tomorrow

terms available

step right up

step right up

step right up

you got it buddy

the large print giveth

and the small print taketh away

step right up

you can step right up

cause you can step right up

c'mon step right up

get away from me kid, ya bother me

step right up

step right up

step right up

c'mon c'mon c'mon

c'mon c'mon

step right up

you can step right up

c'mon and step right up

c'mon step right up