Tom Waits - Cemetery Polka lyrics

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Uncle Vernon

Uncle Vernon

Independent as a

Hog on ice

He's a big shot down there

At the slaughterhouse

He plays accordion

For Mr. Weiss

Uncle Bittmore and

Uncle William

Made a

Million during

World War II

But they're tightwads

And they're

Cheap skates

And they'll never give a dime to you

Auntie Mame

Has gone

Insane

She lives in

The doorway of an old hotel

And the

Radio's playing opera and

All she ever says

Is go to Hell.

Uncle Violet

Flew as pilot

He said there

Ain't no pretty

Girls in France

Now he runs a

Tiny little

Bookie joint they say

He never

Keeps it in his pants

Uncle Bill

Will never leave a will

And the tumour is as

Big as an egg

He has a mistress

She's a Puerto Rican

And I heard she has

A wooden leg.

Uncle Phil

Can't live without his pills

He has emphysema and

He's almost blind

And we must find out

Where the money is

Get it now

Before he loses his mind