Tom Lehrer - Mathematics Professor lyrics

rate me

If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am

I'm a brilliant mathematician, or so something of a ham

I've tried for numerous degrees, in fact, I've one of each

Of course, that makes me eminently qualified to teach

I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true

And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you

Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned

Yet everyone tells me that I'm hard to understand

And I can't think why

My diagrams are models of true arduous degree

And my handwriting is famous for its legibility

Take a word like 'minimum,' to choose a random word

For anyone to say he cannot read that is absurd

The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year

Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear

And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure

Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure

And I can't think why

For example

Take differentiation, it's as simple as can be

Like finding the derivative of tangent X, let's see

It's tangent squared, no, secant squared, no, it's just secant, I bet

The sign in front is plus, or is it minus? I forget

Well, it does have a derivative, of that there is no doubt

All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out

Yes, students tell I've memorized the whole term through

Everything you've taught us, but the problems I can't do

And I can't think why

He can't think why