Tom Green - I'm No Comedian lyrics

rate me

Ha

Ha

For those of you that think this is, a comedy record...

Check it!

I'm no comedian

I'm a fiend for nicotene

But I don't need a cigarette

Know what I mean?

I keep 'em bustin' a nut

On these routines

You'll never see a brick wall

Back of my blue jeans

So come around

Open your mouth for protein

If rockin' the mic was a drug

Then I'm a dope fiend

There's not a neon sign that says

"Yum, Yums" or "Cracker Jacks"

My raps are causin' laugh attacks

Not knock knock jokes

I tickle trunks

Now who's on first?

You silly punks

Home, without hit re-runs

It won't be syndicated sitcoms

Just me droppin' bombs

'Cause I'm no comedian

I'm droppin' dope like this one

It's not Carrot Top causin' a shit storm

I'm break wreck

Roll over ya like a german tank

There's no redemption

This ain't shawshank

Or Johnny Carson

Or Buddy Mark

Unless Pee-Wee Herman

But funny like Biz Markee

But I ain't no joke

On the mic I'm a killa

So go get in a cacoon and curl up like a caterpillar

You wanna have a chuckle? (Ha, Ha)

I'm not in the mood

So just buckle up your seat buckle

And prepare for impact

And if you're wearin' your retard helmet then you'll be intact

I'm droppin' dope like this one (Ha, ha, ha, ha)

I'm no comedian

I'm droppin' dope like this one

And I ain't no joke

I'm no comedian

I got too many fat raps

And sucka Emcees flat like flapjacks

I'm not tellin' a joke or a riddle

I'm not Jack Paar

Jumpin' on a stool in the middle of the stage

Under the spotlight

I'm just a roastin' most of ya

Never been toasted

I'm the poster for boastin'

I got more flows than your foes

And tongue-tied in a twiddle

Dee-dot, duh-deedle-deedle dum!

Ha, Ha (Ha, Ha)

I'm no comedian

I'm rippin' it up in every medium

I sound dope

You sound like you're on helium

So say hello to my ex at your next A.A. meetin'

And don't make me laugh

Oh wait, That's right

You don't make me laugh

You got the personality of an overpass

Your bank account on overdraft

While I'll be dippin' dollar bills in your girlfriends ass

I'm blowin' your brain like the sax

With my rhymes

Shapin' your ball like kojack

Throw jacks, and smokes

And tell jokes when no one laughs

Give a shrug and drop it on another track

This is a payback

Prepare for impact

Put on your retard helmet and you'll be intact

HOOO!

I'm no comedian

I'm droppin' dope like this one

I'm no comedian

I'm droppin' dope like this one

I ain't no joke.