What's the big deal about Garth Brooks 
What's he got that I ain't got 
Except the biggest country album in history 
And girls screamin' in the parking lot 

My wife thinks Garth Brooks hung the moon 
Yeah the woman thinks Garth is great
But if you ask me my opinion I'd say Garth needs to lose some weight
'Cuz I look better in a hat than he does 
And I got a lot more hair 
And I've missed The Dance, still felt the pain
And I've never had an answered prayer 

I wrote a hundred songs about rodeos 
But my wife wouldn't listen to mine 
Now I'm singin' to friends in a place so Low 
Garth Brooks couldn't even find. 
 
Garth Brooks you better hope we never meet 
Or I'll grind you in the dirt
I'll slap that Resistol offa your head
And choke you with a Garth Brooks T-shirt 

She has taken down our weddin' pictures 
And put a poster of you 
And if your name comes up again when she's sleepin' 
There's no tellin' what I'll do. 
 
Yeah we went though this a few years ago 
When she was dreamin' about George Strait 
But now the name Garth Brooks are two words
That I have grown to hate 

You look like a cowboy airport controller 
With that ugly little microphone 
Why don't you strut your butt back to Oklahoma
And leave my wife alone. 
 
I sick of Garth Brooks 
I'm tired of hearin' about Garth Brooks 
I think I've had enough, Garth Brooks 
My wife is in love with, Garth Brooks 

She wants to be Mrs. Garth Brooks 
I hope this record sells like Garth Brooks

                          Thanks to SteveThorn for correcting these lyrics