Tim Minchin - Rock n Roll Nerd lyrics

rate me

He doesn't have a problem with drugs

He just doesn't get them

He's fine that his mates have tattoos

But he thinks they'll regret them

He likes going to pubs

But he hates it when the music's too loud

He tends not to go to rock concerts

'Cause he can't stand the crowds

And all he's ever wanted to be

Is a rock star on RAGE or MTV

But he knows that it's not fucking likely

Now that he's thirty he knows that

He will always be

A rock 'n' roll nerd

He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear

And though the won't be heard

He'll just keep writing, oh yeah

But you see the problem is

He always thought he'd be a star

But he learnt piano instead of guitar

Which in the nineties didn't get you very far

So while the other kids were learning Stairway

He was the piano to their forte

But he was convinced one day

He'd rock their fucking arses

Be an icon for the disenfranchised masses

Grow his hair long and rebel against the state

But just for now that'd have to wait

'Cause he's running late for his morning classes

And he will always be

A rock 'n' roll nerd

He'll keep playing gigs that no-one knows about

And though it sounds absurd

He'll just keep playing, oh yeah

But you see the problem is

There's not much depth in what he's singing

He's a victim of his upper-middle class upbringing

So he can't write about the 'hood, or bling-bling

So he sits and imagines his girlfriend is dead

To try and evoke some angst in his middle class head

But the bitch is always fine at half past nine when they goes to bed

And he's not spent a single night in prison

He has no issues with nutrition

He has no drinking problem and no drug addiction

Unless you count the drugs they put in chicken

And marijuana always tends to make him cough

He doesn't look good with his t-shirt off

And when he tries to act tough, you can tell he's tricking

While his mates all go out late

Popping pills and havin’ fun

He stays home and showers

And gets a good eight hours

He gets his thrills from his morning run

While his mates all go on dates

Taking speed and drinking cans of Jim Beam

He stays home and cooks

And curls up with a book

And the girl he's had since he was seventeen

'Cause he's never really been part of the scene

Give him Guns 'n' Roses, he'll take Queen

He's more into Beatles that the Stones

He's more Stevie Wonder than Ramones

And he's never owned a panel van

He never shot a Sepultura fan

He doesn't know the difference between metal and thrash

He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash

He likes Ben Folds and The Jackson Five

He knows all the words to Stayin' Alive

And though he wants to be all grungy and cool

He spent eleven years in a private school

So it doesn't matter how hard he tries

He cannot hide behind his rock 'n' roll lies

'Cause you've either got it or you don't

Yeah, you'll either rock it or you won't

You've either got it or you don't

Yeah, you'll either rock it or you wont

He knows that his music lacks depth

But it just can't be helped

He has nothing interesting to say

So he writes about himself

But he doesn't want to seem self-obsessed

So he writes in third person

In an attempt to sound more rock n roll

But he suspects it's not working

And deep in his heart he knows

That he'll never be Silverchair, or Eskimo Joe

And even if he was quite pretty

With small pants like Kylie

He knows that

He will always be

A rock 'n' roll nerd

He'll keep writing songs the world don't care about

And though it sounds absurd

He'll just keep writing, oh yeah, yeah, yeah

You can criticise him and he won't care, care, care

'Cause he wants to rock, and he will never be deterred

But he'll always be a fucked-up little tryhard wannabe rock 'n' roll nerd