Tim Minchin

Tim Minchin - If I Didn\'t Have You

rate me

Yeah, yeah

If I didn't have you

If I didn't have you to hold me tight

If I didn't have you to lie with at night

If I didn't have you to share my sighs

And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry

Well I really think that I would have somebody else

If I didn't have you, someone else would do

*Your* love is one in a million

You couldn't buy it at any price

But of the nine point nine nine nine

Hundred thousand other possible loves

Statistically some of them would be equally nice

Or maybe not as nice but say smarter than you

Or*, or* dumber but better at sport or tracing

I'm just saying I really think that I would probably have somebody else

If I didn't have you, someone else would do

If I were a rich man, diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee

I guess I could be with a surgeon or a model

Or a reli of the royals or a Kennedy

Or a nymphomaniacal exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels

If I were a rich man maybe I would fiddle

Fiddle diddle diddle with them rich man girls

I'm not saying that I'd not love you if I were wealthy or handsome

But realistically there's lots of fish in the sea,

And if I had a different rod I would conceivably land some.

Even though I am fiscally consistently pitiable

And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad Pitiful

Am I really so poor and ugly that you

Think only you could possibly love me?

And I really think that I would probably have somebody else

If I didn't have you, someone else would do

And look I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say

That given the role chaos inevitably plays

And the inherently flawed notion of fate

It's abstruse to deduce I found my soul mate at the age of 17

It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth

I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth

Specifically designed for me

And if I may conjecture a further objection

Love is nothing to do with destined perfection

The connection is strengthened; the affection simply grows over time

Like a flower or a mushroom or a guinea pig or a vine

Or a sponge or bigotry or a banana

And love is made more powerful by the ongoing

Drama of shared experience

And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy or something...

So I trust it goes without saying that I would feel really very sad

If tomorrow you were to fall off something high or catch something bad

But I'm just saying I don't think you're special

I mean I think you're special but you fall within a bell curve

I mean I'm just saying I really think that I would

Probably have somebody else

I think you are unique and beautiful

You make me happy just by being around

But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you

Options were relatively thin on the ground

You're lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you

And maybe more open to spanking or table tennis

I'm just saying I really think that I would probably have somebody else

I mean I reckon it's pretty likely that

If for example my first girlfriend Jackie

Hadn't dumped me after I kissed Winston's ex-girlfriend Nia

At Steph's party back in 1993

Enough variables would probably have been altered

By the absence of that event

To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet

Which is to say that there exists a

Theoretical, hypothetical, parallel life

Where what is, is not as it is and I'm not your husband

And you are not my wife

And I am a stuntman living in LA

Married to a small blonde Portuguese skier

Who when she's not training does abstract paintings

Practices yoga and brews her own beer

And really likes making home movies and suffers neck-down alopecia

But with all my heart and all my mind I know one thing is true

I have just one life and just one love and my love that love is you

And if it wasn't for you, darling you

I really think that I would probably have somebody else

If I didn't have you, do do do do, someone else would surely do boo do boo do boo do boo do da dee da do ba do do do'n

Thanks to Fiona for correcting these lyrics

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1 Comments found

Anonymous
Monday 27th of May 2013 11:17
Brilliant.