Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie - The Toronto Sucks lyrics

rate me

I hate the skydome and the CN tower too

I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo

The rent's too high, the air's unclean

The beaches are dirty, and the people are mean

And the women are big, and the men are dumb

And the children are loopy cause they live in a slum

The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork

They dress real bad and they think they're New York

In Toronto, Ontario

(spoken)

You know, actually I think I pretty much hate all of Ontario

Oh ya, me too

I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa

Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa

London sucks, and the Great Lakes suck

And Sarnia sucks, and Turkey Point sucks

(In background:)

Moosonee sucks, and Beaverton sucks,

Sout Hampton sucks and Guelph sucks too

Peterborough, Scarborough, ... and Uxbridge sucks

Mississauga sucks and ... sucks ... and .... sucks and

Belleville sucks and Brighton sucks

.. sucks and ... sucks and Young's Point sucks and Alan Thicke sucks!

I took a trip to Ontario, to visit Brian Mulroney

He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree

I went to see the Maple Leafs, and got hit in the head with a puck

I don't even know how they did it, I mean I was playing the organ at the time

Ontario... sucks

Yup, actually you know now I really think about it,

I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country

Well except Alberta

Oh ya, I love Alberta

It's very nice, lots of cows and trees and rocks and dirt (moo moo moo)

But,

I hate Newfoundland cause they talk so weird

And Prince Edward Island is, too small

Nova Scotia's dumb cause it's the name of a bank

New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall

Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad

Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks

Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer. Isn't that stupid?

Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old

And as for the Territories they're too cold

And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it's right next to us

'Cause Alberta, doesn't suck

but Calgary does

Thanks to G- for correcting these lyrics