Learn to love me 
Assemble the ways 
Now, today, tomorrow and always 
My only weakness is a list of crime 
My only weakness is ... well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world 
Unite and take over 
Shoplifters of the world 
Hand it over 
Hand it over 
Hand it over 


Learn to love me 
And assemble the ways 
Now, today, tomorrow, and always 
My only weakness is a listed crime 
But last night the plans of a future war 
Was all I saw on Channel Four 


Shoplifters of the world 
Unite and take over 
Shoplifters of the world 
Hand it over 
Hand it over 
Hand it over 


A heartless hand on my shoulder 
A push - and it's over 
Alabaster crashes down 
(Six months is a long time) 
Tried living in the real world 
Instead of a shell 
But before I began ... 
I was bored before I even began 


Shoplifters of the world 
Unite and take over 
Shoplifters of the world 
Unite and take over 
Shoplifters of the world 
Unite and take over 
Shoplifters of the world 
Take over