Performed by:

Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter)




Mrs. Lovett:	Wait! 
		What’s your rush? 
		What’s your hurry? 
	
		You gave me such a.. 
		Fright I thought you was a ghost 
	
		Half a minute? Can’t you sit? 
		lets Seat you down, SIT! 
		All I meant is that I ’aven’t seen a customer fo’ weeks 

		Did you come in for a pie, sir? 
		Do forgive me if me ’ead’s a li’’le vague 
	
		What was that? 
	
		Bet you think we had the plague 
		From the way that people 
		Keep avoidin’ 

		No, you don’t 

		Heaven knows I try, sir 
		But there’s no one comes in even to inhale 
		Right you are, so would you like a drop of ale? 

		Mind you, I can hardly blame them 
		These are probably the worst pies in London 
		I know why nobody cares to take them 
		I should know 
		I make ’em 
		But good? no!

		The worst pies in London 

		Even that's polite 
		The worst pies in London 
		If you doubt it take a bite... 

		Is that just disgusting? 
		You’ll have to concede it 
		It’s nothing but crusting 
		Here drink this, you’ll need it 
		The worst pies in London 

		And no wonder with the price of meat 
		What it is 
		When you get it 
		Never 

		Thought I’d live to see the day 

		Many think it was a treat 
		Finding poor 
		Animals 
		What are dying in the street 

		Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop 
		Does her business but I notice somethin’ weird 
		Lately all her neighbour’s cats have disappeared 

		’Ave to hand it to her 
		What I calls 
		Enterprise 
		Poppin’ pussies into pies 

		Wouldn’t do in my shop 
		Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick 
		And I’m tellin’ you them pussycats is quick 

		No denying times is hard, sir
		Even harder than the worst pies in London 
		Only lard and nothin’ more 

		Is that just revolting? 
		All greasy? 
		And gritty? 
		It looks like 
		It’s moulting 
		And tastes like... 

		Well pity 
		A woman alone 
		With limited wind
		And the worst pies in London! 

		Ah, sir 
		Times is hard 
		Times is hard!

                          Thanks to Osaka for these lyrics

                          Thanks to anna k. for these lyrics

                          Thanks to Hollie S + Antonia T for these lyrics

                          Thanks to Grace for these lyrics