Streets - Can't Con An Honest John lyrics
rate meUsing the following, I'm going to show you:<br />
<br />
A) How to con someone using their own greed,<br />
B) That you won't feel bad 'cos they're trying to con you anyway, and <br />
C) TAKING THEIR MONEY!<br />
<br />
As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people's confidence.<br />
<br />
This scam only works 'cos that man thinks he's working this scam<br />
And that you man off his mark<br />
Get your mate, let's call your mate Piers<br />
No, not Piers, let's call him Farquhar<br />
Anyway get Farquhar to crawl into a bar with his dog<br />
Like I said, the barman will try and con you later<br />
But you're gonna take all his money.<br />
Anyway, get Farquhar to pass into a local bar<br />
And call to the bar to look after a dog for a dart<br />
Just for 20 quid for a while, claiming that he hated it<br />
But it was worth more than his car<br />
This, by the way, requires that you find and supply Farquhar<br />
With an animal, and a life, from your local park. <br />
Get a nice dog that doesn't bark<br />
But not so nice that someone might miss this mutt from the park<br />
<br />
Anyway, using this technique you're gonna take all this man's money<br />
But you're not gonna care, cos he's gonna fucking deserve it<br />
<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You'll never con an Honest John <br />
An Honest John you can't drag down (Exactly!)<br />
Con-do-lee get conned<br />
When they think they're the cunning one (It's all one big con)<br />
Neighbour you won't con<br />
An Honest John<br />
<br />
Now listen, get Farquhar to dart out the bar<br />
And just shop for some garm's, maybe<br />
Just to pass an hour or so<br />
I would go shopping cos' I gave up drinking <br />
But whatever, just have Farquhar down the road<br />
Now you walk in the bar, walk up to the barman<br />
Order a jar, when you've caught him slouched on his own<br />
Start eyeing the dog that he's minding by his side<br />
Currently vibe him and start on about the dog you own.<br />
Start asking the barman, if it's his fine specimen of a dog<br />
Nod, smile, agree, look interested and cool<br />
When he tells you it's someone else's you've just left previous<br />
Tell him, 'This is a very rare breed of animal.'<br />
Last time I lied my manager swiped me<br />
But lie, and tell him it's like a fucking Red-Eared Hunting Spaniel.<br />
Tell him it's worth 600 quid and you would pay handsomely if you were to accept finance at all<br />
<br />
[Chorus]<br />
You'll never con an Honest John (Sometimes...)<br />
An Honest John you can't drag down (...Sometimes I think I should just go completely...)<br />
Condolee get conned<br />
When they think they're the cunning one <br />
Neighbour you won't con an Honest John (Keep listening though, it's important that you keep listening...)<br />
<br />
Now take all his shopping off him<br />
Get your mate Farquhar to pop in <br />
Looking straight gutted a bit later on<br />
He should order a jar, talk at the bar<br />
Ensure he looks calm, warm with the barman<br />
And generally start conversating on.<br />
Farquhar should start falling apart <br />
About how he's arsed up some chance<br />
And how arsed up his day was.<br />
Or in the event, the spread betting he's getting ready to accept<br />
That his rent's not getting payed up.<br />
The barmans mind will chime slowly for a while<br />
He might wipe the bar, as his mind is making sums.<br />
Farquhar should continue to moan about money<br />
And that this mutt is not the greatest of his worries.<br />
And like 'ching!', the barman will five out of six times<br />
Kindly offer his greed to buy the dog for a price of 300 quid<br />
And after some bartering, your barman will haggle and charge harder<br />
In greed of the scent of the scheme in his head. (That's right, neighbour!)<br />
<br />
You'll never con an Honest John <br />
An Honest John you can't drag down <br />
Condolee get conned<br />
When they think they're the cunning one<br />
(The barman, is gonna see how much he can stitch you up for.)<br />
Neighbour you won't con an Honest John<br />
(How does that work? Cos' everytime it's based around someone who thinks they're conning you.)<br />
<br />
They'll never imagine the whole scenario is prepared solely for him<br />
Why should he?<br />
That sort of paranoia can get you in the loony bin!<br />
<br />
As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people's confidence.<br />
AND THAN TAKING THEIR MONEY!<br />
<br />
It's all one big con.
