Slim Newton - Redback On the Toilet Seat lyrics

rate me

There was a red-back on the toilet seat

When I was there last night,

I didnt see him in the dark,

But boy! I felt his bite!

I jumped high up into the air,

And when I hit the ground,

That crafty red-back spider

Wasnt nowhere to be found.

I rushed in to the missus,

Told her just where Id been bit,

She grabbed the cut throat razor blade,

And I nearly took a fit.

I said, Just forget whats on your mind,

And call a doctor please,

Cause Ive got a feeling that your cure

Is worse than the disease.

There was a red-back on the toilet seat

When I was there last night,

I didnt see him in the dark,

But boy! I felt his bite!

And now Im here in hospital,

A sad and sorry plight,

And I curse that red-back spider

On the toilet seat last night.

I cant lay down, I cant sit up,

And I dont know what to do,

And all the nurses think its funny,

But thats not my point of view.

I tell you its embarrassing,

And thats to say the least

That Im to sick to eat a bite,

While that spider had a feast!

And when I get back home again,

I tell you what Ill do,

Ill make that red-back suffer

For the pain Im going through.

Ive had so many needles

That Im looking like a sieve,

And I promise you that spider

Hasnt very long to live!

There was a red-back on the toilet seat

When I was there last night,

I didnt see him in the dark,

But boy! I felt his bite!

And now Im here in hospital,

A sad and sorry plight,

And I curse that red-back spider

On the toilet seat last night.

[From his album: "Greatest Hits"

Contributed: Marten Busstra 2009]