A suicidal haze, unreal like a torturous dream
old stinging mental wounds, still raw and fucking bleeding
drowning in the womb of misery, the mother of depression
the slaughter of all hope, the grim death of compassion
sell your soul to evil, sell your soul to death
... suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide...
a dead empty stare into the ruins of my world
a world i have already left, so many years ago


(whispered)
there are no more barriers to cross
all i have in common with the uncontrollable and insane
the vicious and the evil
all the mayhem i have caused
and my utter indifference to the world
i have now surpassed

my pain is constant and sharp
and i do not hope for a better world for anyone
in fact, i want my pain to be inflicted on others
i want no one to escape

but even after admitting this
there is no katharsis
my punishment continues to allude me
and i gain no deeper knowledge of myself
no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling
this confession has meant

nothing

                          Thanks to Kate for these lyrics