Well, I've been swinging through these swinging doors for<br />
Goin' on probably about 9 years now, maybe even 10<br />
And I watch old Joe at the end of the bar<br />
With another hot woman on his one good arm<br />
And they walk out for a while and he comes back in smilin' again<br />
<br />
So I finally had to ask old Joe, "Man, what's your secret to success<br />
Your power of persuasion over the opposite sex"<br />
And he says, "Son, well honestly, it's pretty simple"<br />
He said, "I just kinda walk up and buy her a drink<br />
And open up my mouth and"<br />
<br />
Lie<br />
I tell her I'm a movie star<br />
I just flew into town to buy this bar<br />
I'm only here tonight, that's right<br />
<br />
I gotta go, yeah<br />
We're filming on location down in Mexico<br />
Would you believe that I got the leading role?<br />
That's right, honey, I beat out a lot of folks that you'd probably know<br />
<br />
Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do<br />
Anything it takes to make her think you're cool<br />
Ah, you got nothing to lose, so go on and try<br />
<br />
Just walk right up and smile<br />
And look her dead in the eye and lie<br />
That's right, lie<br />
<br />
So I tried and tried a couple weekends<br />
And it was like strike 1, strike 2, strike out again<br />
But I narrowed it down and I scratched it out<br />
And I came up with something that without a doubt I knew<br />
<br />
I was gonna make old Joe proud<br />
And I go up and I'd say<br />
<br />
Hi, honey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life?<br />
I've been waiting such a long, long time<br />
And you know what, honey?<br />
Meetin' you here, man, it just really feels like fate<br />
<br />
Oh, I, I bet you didn't see me as a marrying type<br />
Let's take it slow, I don't just want one night, oh no, darlin'<br />
If you're looking for that you might as well look somewhere else<br />
Well, because I'm just not that kind of guy<br />
<br />
And kids, oh, I love kids<br />
Dogs, in laws and a piece of land<br />
Dirty diapers in my mini van<br />
Aw man, I can hardly wait<br />
<br />
Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do<br />
Anything it takes to make her think you're cool<br />
Aw, you got nothin' to lose so go on and try<br />
<br />
Just walk right up, and smile, and look her dead in the eye<br />
You know what you got to do, lie<br />
That's right, you gotta lie, sometimes you gotta lie<br /><br />