I was sitting with a bloody head 
Outside of X 
At the Berkeley Square 
In my proud boy dumbness 
Half drunk, half sexed, 
Half conscious 
Lenny had said, "Shouldn't you check it?" 
I said, checking is for wimps 

So I flew into the hedge 
Up and above 
Looking at the blue skies below 
Flying like a dove 
I was head over heels 
When I hit the manhole cover 
Kathleen walked up, said, "You alright?" 
No, I'm in pain, duh. 

Well, sleeveless shirts 
And catholic school skirts 
"Small girls, big cars", Al says 
For me it's the other way around 
She said, "Just show me where it hurts" 
I said, you can pick me up and take me home 
Or just join me on the ground 

And we could have some kids 
If we're lucky they'll be gay 
And we could be proud parents 
In the pride parade 
I swear I almost cry 
Every year when they go by 
If I'd only been a girl instead of 
A guy, 
Kathleen.