Song by Red Buttons<br /><br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
How wonderful to see your smiling faces again<br>
I..I've never known such warmth, such welcome, such loving hospitality<br>
<br>
Man:<br>
Get out ya quack!<br>
<br>
Man:<br>
And don't bring those phony remedies here again!<br>
<br>
Woman:<br>
Go on back where you belong, jail!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, <br>
I sense enthusiasm<br>
I sense loving response<br>
And that's why I feel that this is my home away from home<br>
<br>
I've been bringing cures from Pilgrim Heights to Provincetown<br>
Treated rabid fever down on Queen Anne Road<br>
Gout or gastritis, mumps or bronchitis<br>
Bites and burns and blue abrasions, got a pill for all occasions!<br>
<br>
Little Sipperwhissit was so nice to visit<br>
And Scraggy-Neck is lovely to recall<br>
<br>
Man:<br>
Why didn't ya stay there?<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
But through all my trips<br>
Good Lord there's one place<br>
One call now, one town on my lips<br>
<br>
Why it's...Poddamaquassy, uh, Paquamasoddy, no, no...<br>
Passamamassy, uh, Quoddamapoddy, p...p...Passamadaddy<br>
Uh, Quoddamapassy, uh, Passamahoddy?<br>
Oh, I know!  It's Passamashloddy!<br>
<br>
Townsfolk:<br>
No, it's Passamaquoddy!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
Of course, that's what I meant to say<br>
<br>
Woman:<br>
I took your drug for losing weight<br>
And now I'm a blob!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
But now that there's so much more of you to love!<br>
<br>
I wiped out impetigo on the banks of Buttermilk<br>
Flu is under firm control in Powderhole<br>
Terminus potions, tablets and lotions<br>
Major news and modern science<br>
Step up now and join my clients<br>
<br>
Spent the day in Buzzard's Bay<br>
They couldn't keep me there<br>
Even turned away from Kingdom Hall<br>
<br>
But since I was young, good Lord there's one spot<br>
One little bit of Heaven on my tongue<br>
<br>
Why it's...<br>
Poddamaquassy, no, no...<br>
Paquamasoddy, no, Passamamassy, uh, Quoddamapoddy<br>
p...p...Passamadaddy, uh, Quoddamapassy, uh, Passamahoddy?<br>
Oh, I know!  It's Passamashloddy!<br>
<br>
Townsfolk:<br>
No, it's Passamaquoddy!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
Of course, ha, ha! I knew it all the time<br>
<br>
Man:<br>
My hair was grey and thanks you to it turned into pink<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
But that colour - it's so becoming!<br>
<br>
Town's people:<br>
We're gonna wash your faulty tonics right down the sink!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
Wait, listen, my specialties are<br>
Audiology, Mycology, Sarology, Teritology<br>
Embryology, psychology, zoology!<br>
And every other 'ology' you can think of!<br>
<br>
Woman:<br>
I believe in the doc!<br>
<br>
Woman:<br>
I trust him!<br>
<br>
Man:<br>
I'd put my life in his hands!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
My friends you've seen a miracle!<br>
And you'll see many more,<br>
People will come pouring in from land and sea!<br>
<br>
We'll have centres for testing<br>
Let's start investing<br>
Keep those dimes dollars mounting,<br>
I'll do the counting<br>
<br>
Everyone who lives here will be strong and healthy<br>
You'll be getting richer by the day!<br>
<br>
Townsfolk:<br>
Yay!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
Hear the mclaimers<br>
This down will be famous<br>
The whole wide world will look at us and say...<br>
<br>
It's...<br>
Poddamaquassy, no, Paquamasoddy, no, no, Passamamassy,<br>
Uh, Quoddamapoddy, p...p...Passamadaddy,<br>
q...q...q...Quoddamapassy...<br>
Quoddamaddy, Dappadaddy, Dappamossy, Quoddapossy<br>
Quassapossa, Passaquossa, ha ha ha ha!<br>
<br>
Town's folk:<br>
Passamaquoddy!<br>
<br>
Dr. Terminus:<br>
I know!<br>
<br>

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