Patti LuPone - A Little Priest (duet with Michael Cerveris) lyrics
rate meMrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
Well you know me
Bright idea just popped into me head
And I keep thinking
Seems a down right shame
Todd:[Spoken]
Shame?
Mrs. Lovett:
Seems and awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has--
Had, has
Nor it can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift, if you get my drift
No?
Seems a awful waste--
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
when get it
If you get it
Todd:
Aah!
Good you got it
Take for instance Mrs. Mooney
And her pie shop
Business never better
Using only pussycats and toast
Now a pussy's good for maybe
Six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare
As far as taste
Todd:
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion Mrs. Lovett:
Eminently practical Well it does seem a waste
And yet appropriate as always
Mrs. Lovett, how I did without you
All these years,
I'll never know!
Think about it,
How delectable! Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be comin'
Also undetectable For a shave, won't they?
How choice Think of all them
How rare Pies!
For what's the sound of the
World out there?
Mrs. Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
Todd:
Those crunching noises
Pervading the air!
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes all around!
Todd:
It's man devouring, man, my dear
Both:
Then who are we to deny it in here?
Todd: [Spoken]
Ah, these are desperate times Mrs. Lovett,
and desperate measures are called for
Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
Here we are!
Hot from the oven
Todd: [Spoken]
What is that?
Mrs. Lovett:
It's priest
Have a little priest
Todd:
Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett:
Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again they don't commit
Sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Todd: [Spoken]
Awful lot of fat
Mrs. Lovett:
Only where it sat
Todd:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?
Mrs. Lovett:
No, y'see the trouble with poet
Is how do you it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Todd: [Spoken]
Mmm, heavenly!
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps
But then not as bland as curate, either
Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
And good for business
Always leaves you wanting more
Trouble is we only get it on Sundays
Lawyer's rather nice!
Todd:
It is for a price
Mrs. Lovett:
Order something else though to follow
Since no one should swallow twice
Todd:
Anything that's lean
Mrs. Lovett:
Well, then, if your British and loyal
You might enjoy royal marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though, of course,
It tastes of wherever it's been!
Todd:
Is that squire on the fire?
Mrs. Lovett:
Mercy, no sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
Todd:
Looks thicker
More like vicar
Mrs. Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!
Todd:
The history of the world, my love
Mrs. Lovett:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors
Todd:
Is those bellow serving those up above!
Mrs. Lovett:
Everybody shaves
so there should be plenty of flavors!
Todd:
How gratifying for once to know
Both:
That those above will serve those down bellow!
Mrs. Lovett:
Now, let's see Todd:
We've got tinker? Something pinker
Taylor? Something paler
Potter? Something hotter?
Butler? Something... subtler
Locksmith? Oh...
Lovely bit of clerk
Todd:
Maybe for a lark
Mrs. Lovett:
The again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark
Try the financier
Peak of his career
Todd:
Ugh, that looks pretty rank
Mrs. Lovett:
Well, he drank
No, it's bank cashier
Never really sold
Maybe it was old
Todd:
Have you any Beadle?
Mrs. Lovett:
Next week, so I'm told
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it
And notice how well it's been greased
Stick to priest
[Spoken]
Now this may be a but stringy
But the of course it's fiddle player
Todd: [Spoken]
That's not fiddle player
That's piccolo player
Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
How can you tell?
Todd: [Spoken]
It's pipping hot!
Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
Then blow on it first!
Todd:
The history of the world, my sweet
Mrs. Lovett:
Oh, Mr. Todd
Ooh, Mr. Todd
What does it tell?
Todd:
It's who gets eaten
And who gets to eat
Mrs. Lovett:
And Mr. Todd, too, Mr. Todd
Who gets to sell
Todd:
But fortunately it's all so clear
Both:
That everybody goes down well with beer!
Mrs. Lovett:
Since marine doesn't appeal to you
How about rear admiral?
Todd:
Too salty
I prefer general
Mrs. Lovett:
With or without his privates
With is extra...
Todd:
What is that?
Mrs. Lovett:
It's fop-- finest in the shop
Or we have shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top
And I've just began
That's a politician so oily
It's served with doily
Not one
Todd:
Put it on a bun
Well you never know if it's going to run
Mrs. Lovett:
Try the friar-- fried is drier!
Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy
Mrs. Lovett:
Then actor-- that's compacter
Todd:
Yes, and always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
Wait, true we don't have judge yet
But would you settle for the next best thing?
Todd: [Spoken]
What's that?
Mrs. Lovett: [Spoken]
Executioner!
Todd:
Have charity towards the world, my pet
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, yes I know, my love!
Todd:
We'll take the costumers that we can get!
Mrs. Lovett:
High born and low, my love
Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
Both:
Meaning anyone
And to anyone
At all!