Of Thee I Sing movie - AS THE CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMITTEE lyrics
rate me<br>
FULTON:<br>
As the chairman of the committee<br>
I announce we've made our choice;<br>
Ev'ry lover from Dubuque to Jersey City<br>
Should rejoice!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
We rejoice!<br>
<br>
JUDGES AND COMMITTEE:<br>
When the angels up there designed her,<br>
They designed a thoroughbred;<br>
And on March the fourth the President will find her<br>
Worthy of his board and bed.<br>
<br>
FULTON:<br>
And now it thrills me to introduce the rarest of American beauties, <br>
the future first lady of the land -- a fit consort for the ruler of "122 million freeborn" - ladies and gentlemen -- Miss Diana Devereaux!<br>
<br>
HOW BEAUTIFUL<br>
[DIANA APPEARS WITH FOUR OTHER PRIZE WINNERS<br>
HOLDING TRAIN ATTACHED TO HER BATHING SUIT]<br>
<br>
ALL:<br>
[SING]<br>
How beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!<br>
How utterly, utterly so!<br>
The charming, the gracious, the dutiful<br>
Diana Devereaux!<br>
<br>
FULTON:<br>
[SPOKEN]<br>
The committee will now tell why she was chosen -- with music!<br>
<br>
NEVER WAS THERE A GIRL SO FAIR<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
Never was there a girl so fair!<br>
Never was there a form so rare!<br>
<br>
DIANA:<br>
[SPOKEN]<br>
Ah could throw mah arms right around your neck! <br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
A voice so lyrical<br>
Is given few;<br>
Her eyes a miracle<br>
Of Prussian blue;<br>
Ruby lips and a foot so small;<br>
As for hips -- she has none at all!<br>
<br>
GILHOOLEY:<br>
Did you ever see such footsies,<br>
Or a more enticing limb?<br>
<br>
LIPPMAN:<br>
And the ankles or her tootsies<br>
Are so slim!<br>
<br>
LYONS AND JUDGES:<br>
What a charming epiglottis!<br>
What a lovely coat of tan!<br>
Oh, the man who is not hot is<br>
Not a man!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
She's a bargain to whom she's wed'<br>
More than worthy his board and bed!<br>
<br>
FULTON:<br>
Says the chairman of the committee,<br>
Let the newsmen now come in.<br>
[TO DIANA]<br>
For the sound reels you must look your best, my pretty!<br>
[TO GUARDS]<br>
Have the interviews begin!<br>
<br>
GILHOOLEY AND LYONS:<br>
We shall go and bring them in!<br>
<br>
WINTERGREEN:<br>
[RUSHING CENTER]<br>
Stop! No!<br>
Though this may be a blow,<br>
I simply cannot marry<br>
Diana Devereaux!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
What's this? What's this?<br>
He says he cannot marry<br>
Diana Devereaux?<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:<br>
[TO WINTERGREEN]<br>
You mean you will not many<br>
Diana Devereaux!<br>
<br>
WINTERGREEN:<br>
Please understand!<br>
It isn't that I would jilt or spurn 'er!<br>
It's just that I love someone else!<br>
<br>
ALL:<br>
Who?<br>
<br>
WINTERGREEN:<br>
Whom! <br>
[TURNS TO MARY]<br>
Mary Turner!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
The man is mad!<br>
Or else a cad!<br>
He'll have to take her --<br>
He can't forsake her<br>
<br>
DIANA:<br>
This jilting me,<br>
It cannot be!<br>
This lousy action<br>
Calls for retraction!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:<br>
We must know why<br>
You should prefer<br>
Instead of Di<br>
[POINTING TO DIANA]<br>
A girl like her.<br>
[POINTING TO MARY]<br>
<br>
GIRLS:<br>
Yes, tell us why<br>
You should prefer<br>
Instead of Di<br>
A girl like her!<br>
<br>
WINTERGREEN:<br>
All that I can say of Mary Turner<br>
Is that I love Mary Turner.<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:<br>
What's to be done?<br>
Though she has won,<br>
[INDICATING DIANA]<br>
Though she has signed up<br>
He's made his mind up!<br>
His love he'd ruther<br>
Give to the other!<br>
[INDICATING DIANA]<br>
What shall we do now? <br>
What is our cue now?<br>
<br>
DIANA:<br>
[TO COMMITTEE]<br>
He will do nothing of the sort.<br>
First we'll settle this thing in court.<br>
[TO WINTERGREEN]<br>
You seem to think Miss Turner hits the spot;<br>
But what has she got that I haven't got?<br>
<br>
ALL:<br>
Yes, what has "she" got <br>
[POINTING TO MARY]<br>
that she hasn't got? <br>
[POINTING TO DIANA]<br>
<br>
WINTERGREEN:<br>
My Mary makes corn muffins -<br>
[TO DIANA]<br>
Can you make corn muffins?<br>
<br>
DIANA:<br>
I cain't make corn muffins<br>
<br>
ALL:<br>
[SORROWFULLY]<br>
She can't make corn muffins!<br>
<br>
SOME GIRLS CAN BAKE A PIE<br>
<br>
WINTERGREEN:<br>
Well, there you are!<br>
<br>
Some girls can bake a pie<br>
Made up of prunes and quinces;<br>
Some make an oyster fry -<br>
Others are good at blintzes.<br>
Some lovely girls have done<br>
Wonders with turkey stuffin's,<br>
But I have found the one<br>
Who can really make corn muffins!<br>
<br>
DIANA:<br>
Who cares about corn muffins?<br>
All I demand is justice!<br>
<br>
[WINTERGREEN REPEATS "SOME GIRLS CAN..." MARY JOINS IN,<br>
AS COMMITTEE AND ENSEMBLE, SOLD ON THE IDEA, SING OBBLIGATO]<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE AND ENSEMBLE:<br>
Corn muffins -<br>
Though other girls are good at turkey stuffin's<br>
She takes the cake -<br>
For she can bake<br>
Corn muffins;<br>
Corn muffins -<br>
He's not to blame for falling if she's able<br>
To serve them at his table.<br>
[COMMITTEE STARTS TO SAMPLE MUFFINS]<br>
They should be happy night and day;<br>
They'll make a couple so delightful;<br>
When two agree on corn muffins,<br>
Their marriage is only rightful!<br>
<br>
DIANA AND GIRLS:<br>
[SIMULTANEOUSLY, TO THE COMMITTEE]<br>
Don't surrender! <br>
Don't be tender!<br>
I'm (she's) the winner!<br>
She is a little sinner!<br>
Come! Make your mind up.<br>
I, (she) not she <br>
Is the one who's really signed up!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE:<br>
[HOLDING UP MUFFINS]<br>
Great! Great!<br>
It really must be fate!<br>
<br>
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:<br>
We must declare these muffins<br>
The best we ever ate!<br>
<br>
GIRLS:<br>
[SIMULTANEOUSLY]<br>
There's none but Mary Turner<br>
Could ever be his mate!<br>
[DIANA EXITS]<br>
<br>
[HALF THE VOICES KEEP REPEATING]<br>
There's none but Mary Turner<br>
Could ever be his mate!<br>
<br>
[THE OTHER HALF SING]<br>
She can make corn muffins!<br>
She can make corn muffins!<br>
<br>
ALL:<br>
[Tableau]<br>
Let's all rejoice!<br>
<br>
