20 Myths About K.A.A.N

20 Myths About K.A.A.NOne of the fastest emcees out there, K.A.A.N's been on the radar ever since Kaancepts (he has a lot of such misspelled yabadabadoo's, doesn't he, like NAWLEDGE!). Don't bother changing those YouTube settings to 0.5 speed. It's still Wacky Races with him. You either get it or you don't, it's that simple. No YouLube settings can oil your brain so it can process faster. Forget about it! If you're a Tasmanian devil, then this top 20 Myths about K.A.A.N isn't for you:

  1. K.A.A.N's mother, K.R.A.L.I.Ç.E, was ongoing a red hot chili pepper and horseradish diet for the entire 3 months that she had K.A.A.N in her belly. He was so eager to get out and spit some bars, that the first thing he said whence he first filled his bagpipes with 30 seconds worth of air was 'The tyrant that's running rampant and rantin' on telephones/Telling anyone that gon' listen that my kids ain't shit/A bunch of worthless muthafuckas, and my wife is a bitch/Lets not discuss all of my issues, there's no need to recall the fact/I'm a fucking alcoholic that was never involved/Or took no interest within the children never helped to create/I'm live in a delusional the world and that's not even my fault'

  2. He's actually white! Despite the videos, where an African-American rhymes, just like Your Old Droog is black although there's a white man spitting in his videos, K.A.A.N. is 100% white! Theatricality and deception! Paradoxically, he's 200% black too, so the white remains hidden somewhere between the rap prowess gene and the nawledge gene. Go figure!

  3. 90% of his fans like his songs before even listening to them. Just like women hop into bed with him without knowing who he is, bakers hand over the bread to him before asking for the dough, and just like labels shove proposals under his door, not knowing that he's tied his rug to the door, so that their proposals go directly under the rug!

  4. K.A.A.N's speed derives from the fact he can't count. Being unable to count, he can't stop rhyming, nor can he understand why 26 words per second is a limit for human beings.

  5. Brandon Perry (K.A.A.N when he's not recording) meets John Barth, Frank Miller and other Maryland writers on a daily basis to put pen to paper on some new outstanding flocking songs.

  6. He's condescending with other rappers in the game. As true as that is, there's a little something called truth that really renders the superior-humble diatribe obsolete. Who should we go all medieval and pretend we're not good if we are, and why should we go snob modern and say we're the best when we aren't? Being proud of your own achieving isn't a bad thing, and one should feel delighted living in his house after he's built it. And with an architect like K.A.A.N, who can blame him for being a bit smug? Plus, there are always verses like 'I put my heart and my soul in this shit/But I don't think that anyone notices it', like If I send you this song, would you send me some positive energy?/Please, I am begging you for it', or <my lack of C notes is see through really kinda balances things up, you know what I mean?

  7. He went from living inside his mom for 3 months to living near a deserted train station (like the one we see in his video for KAANCEPTS) to living in our ears.

  8. His tracks on Soundcloud get more views because people can express their 'fuck', 'shit', and 'holy cows' there without being banned. YouTube doesn't allow potty mouths. Naughty naughty!

  9. 2Pac's alive just because he couldn't die without meeting his Messiah. He's actually bumping K.A.A.N right now, somewhere in Cuba!

  10. He's never toured, because his high-tech ultra sonic capturing devices, very expensive and fragile, are the only ones that could allow his music to reach our ears without giving us ear discharge. Pictures of his booth, sound-proof to the uneasy world outside, coming soon!

  11. His songs are always 0% done on Genius! Putting these dangerous Pacu Fish on paper could result on you loosing your fingers. Even Futuristic went like 'Sheesh!'

  12. Each time he says LAAWD he's actually refraining from hashtagging the Big Lebowski in the sky, because such an honorable appraisal would shadow all the other believers that are constantly bugging G-Man with their lovely prayers.

  13. His Facebookgot more views today, with the launching of his 'Circles', than Einstein's landmark gravitational wave detection video received yesterday.

  14. K.A.A.N once jumped on a horse, rode it from New York to Amsterdam, and by the time he had reached his destination, the horse was still swimming somewhere down the shores of Cape Cod.

  15. People are still wondering what his thesis is...

  16. 'Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here' guy is actually K.A.A.N's brother-in-law's cousin's nephew's godfather's friend, and we can defo prove that by alluding you to the fact that they pronounce NAWLEDGE the same! Family treat, or whatnot. Tai Lopez actually pinched in with the Why am I lonely when people are phony verse in 'Lonely'.

  17. He works for a masonry company in order to build houses that can shelter his verses. Regular walls crumble when people click play. For his songs, they need a kryptonite foundation with a malachite roof, so that it can catch fire really quickly and people can see it from miles away.

  18. People are still looking for the lyrics for 'Focus'online. Damn, bruh, leave your horse on Sweetslyrics' Home Page, and step into that hyperlink door we've left for you!

  19. Termanology and Archetype called K.A.A.N for a collab, K.A.A.N never called back. Making music without any featurings is the new way to go about building your career. Ain't nobody wanna see you coming with your bigger brother to the gunfight. For real!

  20. The last dot in his name is missing because is the new viral meme online, and people are actually completing this sentence and using it more than they use 'Darude - Sandstorm' when answering 'what's the name of the song at 00:32?', and astonishingly, more than they'd ever used the classic 'why did the chicken pass the road' joke, which retro-door-knobbers are still vehiculating today.

Don't you guys forget about his latest song, Circles, which we've covered, lyric-wise, exclusively on our site. Check out the lyrics at the very top of this page, and try not to drool over this song too much. We have intel that more on the likes is coming. NAWLEDGE!

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