Monty Python - World Forum lyrics

rate me

Presenter (Eric Idle): Good evening. Tonight is indeed

a unique occasion in the history of television. We are

very privileged, and deeply honoured to have with us in

the studio, Karl Marx, founder of modern socialism, and

author of the 'Communist Manifesto'. (Karl Marx is

sitting at a desk; he nods) Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov,

better known to the world as Lenin, leader of the

Russian Revolution, writer, statesman, and father of

modern communism. (shot of Lenin also at desk; he nods)

Che Guevara, the Cuban guerrilla leader. (shot of

Guevara) And Mao Tse-tung, leader of the Chinese

Communist Party since 1949. (shot of Mao; the presenter

picks up a card) And the first question is for you,

Karl Marx. The Hammers - the Hammers is the nickname of

what English football team? 'the Hammers? (shot of Karl

Marx furrowing his brow- obviously he hasn't a clue)

No? Well bad luck there, Karl. So we'll go onto you

Che. Che Guevara - Coventry City last won the FA Cup in

what year? (cut to Che looking equally dumbfounded) No?

I'll throw it open. Coventry City last won the FA Cup

in what year? (they all look blank) No? Well, I'm not

surprised you didn't get that. It was in fact a trick

question. Coventry City have never won the FA Cup. So

with the scores all equal now we go onto our second

round, and Lenin it's your starter for ten. Teddy

Johnson and Pearl Carr won the Eurovision Song Contest

in 1959. What was the name of the song? ... Teddy

Johnson and Pearl Carr's song in the 1959 Eurovision

Song Contest? Anybody? (buzzer goes as in 'University

Challenge'.' zoom in on Mao Tse-tung) Yes, Mao Tse-

tung?

Mao Tse-tung: 'Sing Little Birdie'?

Presenter: Yes it was indeed. Well challenged.

(applause) Well now we come on to our special gift

section. The contestant is Karl Marx and the prize this

week is a beautiful lounge suite. (curtains behind the

presenter sweep open to reveal a beautiful lounge

suite; ternfic audience applause; Karl comes out and

stands in front of this display) Now Karl has elected

to, answer questions on the workers' control of

factories so here we go with question number one. Are

you nervous? (Karl nods his head; the presenter reads

from a card) The development of the industrial

proletariat is conditioned by what other development?

Karl: The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.

(applause)

Presenter: Yes, yes, it is indeed. You're on your way

to the lounge suite, Karl. Question number two. The

struggle of class against class is a what struggle? A

what struggle?

Karl: A political struggle.

(Tumultuous applause.)

Presenter: Yes, yes! One final question Karl and the

beautiful lounge suite will be yours... Are you going

to have a go? (Karl nods) You're a brave man. Karl

Marx, your final question, who won the Cup Final in

1949?

Karl: The workers' control of the means of production?

The struggle of the urban proletariat?

Presenter: No. It was in fact, Wolverhampton Wanderers

who beat Leicester 3-1.

(Cut to stock film of goal bring scored in a big

football match. Roar from crowd. Stock footage of

football crowds cheering.)

Voice Over: and CAPTION: 'IN "WORLD FORUM" TODAY: KARL

MARX, CHE GUEVARA, LENIN AND MAO TSE-TUNG. NEXT WEEK,

FOUR LEADING HEADS OF STATE OF THE AFRO-ASIAN NATIONS

AGAINST BRISTOL ROVERS AT MOLINEUX