Monty Python - World Forumrate me
Presenter (Eric Idle): Good evening. Tonight is indeed
a unique occasion in the history of television. We are
very privileged, and deeply honoured to have with us in
the studio, Karl Marx, founder of modern socialism, and
author of the 'Communist Manifesto'. (Karl Marx is
sitting at a desk; he nods) Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov,
better known to the world as Lenin, leader of the
Russian Revolution, writer, statesman, and father of
modern communism. (shot of Lenin also at desk; he nods)
Che Guevara, the Cuban guerrilla leader. (shot of
Guevara) And Mao Tse-tung, leader of the Chinese
Communist Party since 1949. (shot of Mao; the presenter
picks up a card) And the first question is for you,
Karl Marx. The Hammers - the Hammers is the nickname of
what English football team? 'the Hammers? (shot of Karl
Marx furrowing his brow- obviously he hasn't a clue)
No? Well bad luck there, Karl. So we'll go onto you
Che. Che Guevara - Coventry City last won the FA Cup in
what year? (cut to Che looking equally dumbfounded) No?
I'll throw it open. Coventry City last won the FA Cup
in what year? (they all look blank) No? Well, I'm not
surprised you didn't get that. It was in fact a trick
question. Coventry City have never won the FA Cup. So
with the scores all equal now we go onto our second
round, and Lenin it's your starter for ten. Teddy
Johnson and Pearl Carr won the Eurovision Song Contest
in 1959. What was the name of the song? ... Teddy
Johnson and Pearl Carr's song in the 1959 Eurovision
Song Contest? Anybody? (buzzer goes as in 'University
Challenge'.' zoom in on Mao Tse-tung) Yes, Mao Tse-
Mao Tse-tung: 'Sing Little Birdie'?
Presenter: Yes it was indeed. Well challenged.
(applause) Well now we come on to our special gift
section. The contestant is Karl Marx and the prize this
week is a beautiful lounge suite. (curtains behind the
presenter sweep open to reveal a beautiful lounge
suite; ternfic audience applause; Karl comes out and
stands in front of this display) Now Karl has elected
to, answer questions on the workers' control of
factories so here we go with question number one. Are
you nervous? (Karl nods his head; the presenter reads
from a card) The development of the industrial
proletariat is conditioned by what other development?
Karl: The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.
Presenter: Yes, yes, it is indeed. You're on your way
to the lounge suite, Karl. Question number two. The
struggle of class against class is a what struggle? A
Karl: A political struggle.
Presenter: Yes, yes! One final question Karl and the
beautiful lounge suite will be yours... Are you going
to have a go? (Karl nods) You're a brave man. Karl
Marx, your final question, who won the Cup Final in
Karl: The workers' control of the means of production?
The struggle of the urban proletariat?
Presenter: No. It was in fact, Wolverhampton Wanderers
who beat Leicester 3-1.
(Cut to stock film of goal bring scored in a big
football match. Roar from crowd. Stock footage of
football crowds cheering.)
Voice Over: and CAPTION: 'IN "WORLD FORUM" TODAY: KARL
MARX, CHE GUEVARA, LENIN AND MAO TSE-TUNG. NEXT WEEK,
FOUR LEADING HEADS OF STATE OF THE AFRO-ASIAN NATIONS
AGAINST BRISTOL ROVERS AT MOLINEUX