I can't help it, I miss you
What am I supposed to do?
I wanna phone you when I get home drunk
Maybe I should become a monk
If your boyfriend picks up the phone, 
I'm gonna hang up and then I'll groan
I know I really ought to leave you alone
But I'm addicted to that dialling tone

I'm not married and you're not divorced
And it's not that simple of course
But your boyfriend seems so dull
He was probably born in Hull
Meanwhile I'm available
I'm ready, willing, and I'm able
I even run my own record label
So come and sit at my table

Yeah I know I'm your bit on the side
But I hope one day you'll be all mine

I don't wanna make a habit of this
But your lips are hard to resist
I bet they would be nice to kiss
An opportunity not to be missed
Your boyfriend is a jerk
And your relationship doesn't work
So dump him and go out with me
How much plainer can I be?

Yeah I know I'm your bit on the side
But I hope one day you'll be all mine
But I hope one day you'll be all mine
But I hope one day you'll be all mine