MC LARS HORRIS - Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships) lyrics

rate me

Internet relationships are not real

Your heart people steal but identities conceal

So here’s a tale of warning for girls and boys

Laptop computers can be dangerous toys

[DARYL47:] In the chat room, I inspect. Who’s here tonight? ASL check

[CarolBabe69:] I’m 20/f from the UK. Send me an IM and I’ll make your day

[DARYL47:] I’m 22 and my name is Daryl

[CarolBabe69:] Nice to meet you Daryl my name is Carol

[DARYL47:] What do you like Carol?

[CarolBabe69:] I like to go to shows. I collect comic books and vintage clothes

What do you like?

[DARYL47:] I like to skate. I play rock guitar, but I’m not that great

I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late

I live in San Francisco and hang on the Haight

[CarolBabe69:] Do you like the Golden Gate?

DARYL47: I did when I was eight

[CarolBabe69:] Maybe I can come and visit?

[DARYL47:] Maybe you should wait

See I’m really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife

I weight 300 pounds and I really hate my life

CarolBabe69:] Are you serious?

[DARYL47:] Yes

[CarolBabe69:] Well, I’ve got a secret too. I’m not 20 years old, I’m really 32

I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue

[DARYL47:] You lied to me Carol

[CarolBabe69:] Well, you lied to me too

[CHORUS]

It’s not normal to have an Internet girlfriend.

Online relationships are really just pretend

Unplug your heart, upgrade your system.

Get, get off the Internet

Bob went on MySpace for hours a day.

Talking to girls from Moscow to LA

But people can surprise you from behind a screen

Listen to this verse and you’ll see what I mean

[SueChick1990:] Hi, I’m Susie, I like your profile

I checked out your pics and I like your smile

[BOBSTER MAN:] Sounds good Susie, I’ll be your friend

We can message each other again and again

[SueChick1990:] Comment on my pics and post on my page

Join my groups and guess my age!

[BOBSTER MAN:] You must be 18, how could you not?

You can’t be in high school you’re just too hot

[SueChick1990:] Let me send you pics for your personal collection

I hope they inspire you and give you a smile

Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene

The cops showed up at his door – she was only 16

[REPEAT CHORUS]

If you don’t believe us here’s a final story

About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lori

Behind the monitor, truth is hidden from your eyes

Marcus didn’t know but he was in for a surprise

[MARCUSP:] We’ve been dating for a while but let’s cut to the chase

I don’t know what you look like, and I want to see your face

[Laurie69:] But what does it matter? You know who I am inside

[MARCUSP:] What if you’re not a woman and this whole time you lied?

[Laurie69:] You got me there, I’m not really a female

I’m a guy who pretends to be a girl through email

[MARCUS:] So this is why it’s bad to meet women online

Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)