Lucky Stiff movie - Mr. Witherspoon's Friday Night lyrics
rate me<br>
Harry: Three pairs of alligator pumps- check.<br>
Two pairs of saddle toes in white- right.<br>
Ten pairs goulashes for the rain,<br>
And one shoe salesman going quietly insane<br>
<br>
Another Friday night with Harry Witherspoon<br>
Another perfect evening on its way<br>
I'll just bet we're having stew, and my rent is overdue, <br>
And I haven't sold a shoe all day<br>
<br>
Behold the perfect life of Harry Witherspoon<br>
How I would envy me if I were you<br>
All the glamour all the fun and the endless days of sun<br>
And the endless nights of stew<br>
And I'm talking to a shoe<br>
<br>
Three pairs of ankle straps in beige- check<br>
Two pairs of loafers trimmed in chrome- check<br>
Ten million shoes going off on adventures <br>
And one shoe salesman going home<br>
<br>
I should be strolling along a sandy beach someplace exotic and bright<br>
I should be dancing instead of doing inventory on a Friday night<br>
<br>
If I were someone else but Harry Witherspoon<br>
I swear I'd never sell another shoe<br>
I'd go sailing off to sea, flying through the blue<br>
Doing all the things all you shoes get to do<br>
There's be so many things I'd rearrange<br>
But Witherspoon, your life is not about to change<br>
<br>
*DOORBELL*<br>
<br>
Landlady: who is it? I don't want to let the dogs into the kitchen<br>
Telegram Deliverer: I've a telegram for a Mr. Harry Witherspoon! Is he in?<br>
L: Telegram? For him? I'll take it. I'm his landlady. Thank you.<br>
Evening Mrs. Martin<br>
Mrs. Martin: Who was that?<br>
L: Mr. Witherspoon got a telegram<br>
MM: Mr. Witherspoon got what?<br>
L: Got a telegram.<br>
MM: Not a telegram! That's impossible!<br>
L: Its not. Here! Look here!<br>
Now a telegram means a tragedy<br>
MM: Something horrible, or grim<br>
B: Well I've never thought of a tragedy or of anything ever happening to him<br>
<br>
Boarders: Evenin'<br>
L: Boys! Boys! Now then look here! You'll never guess!<br>
MM: You'll never guess<br>
L (Boarders echo): Mr. Witherspoon got a telegram.<br>
Well you could have knocked me flat!<br>
Why would anyone send a telegram to a nincompoop like that?<br>
<br>
Harry: I should be strolling along a sandy beach someplace exotic and bright<br>
I should be dancing-<br>
Company: Hold it up to the light<br>
H: I should be quitting my job and moving out I should be waving goodbye<br>
I should start living before I die<br>
<br>
MM: Why on earth would they send it?<br>
Boarder: we could slice it and mend it!<br>
Boarder 2: He'll be home any minute<br>
MM + Boarder: What the hell could be in it?<br>
L: Should I just pry it open?<br>
<br>
*kettle whistle*<br>
<br>
Company: hmmm<br>
L (Boarders echo): Will you have a cup? Have a lovely cup.<br>
With some sugar dear and cream.<br>
Got a lovely pot and a lot of steam<br>
B1: Better hurry up, <br>
B2: hold it over here<br>
MM: I'm a nervous wreck!<br>
L: Me too!<br>
<br>
Harry: get the! Back off! Let go of my leg!<br>
Company: *GASP!* Mr. Witherspoon! Got a telegram, for you.<br>
<br>
Uncle's Last Request<br>
<br>
Attorney: Mr. Witherspoon, this is you Uncle Anthony.<br>
Harry: but I thought he died!<br>
A: He did. The cassette will explain everything. <br>
The wheelchair operates manually or electrically.<br>
So nice to have met you. Bon Voyage and congratulations!<br>
Harry: Oh my God!<br>
<br>
Anthony: Atlantic City, May 5<br>
Dear nephew Harry, this is my last will and testament<br>
I hope it finds you in better health than it does me- ha ha ha!<br>
Harry! We never met, so I hope you won't be too surprised <br>
When you hear the little favor I want<br>
H: Favor?<br>
UA: In return for my 6 million dollars, I want to go to Monte Carlo.<br>
H: What!?!<br>
UA: I want to go to Monte Carlo on vacation! <br>
The plans are made, the restaurants are booked. <br>
Everything is paid in advance.<br>
The only thing you have to do is guard me-<br>
And this heart shaped box on my lap- with your life.<br>
H: But, but this is impossible!<br>
UA: you're probably thinking 'impossible!' right? <br>
Look, a taxidermist friend of mine has me fixed up <br>
So no one will notice a thing.<br>
Just pass me off as your dear old invalid uncle, <br>
And follow the instructions on the tape.<br>
There's nothing to it!<br>
H: Take a dead man to the French Riviera? You must be mad!<br>
UA: Otherwise I'll leave it all to my favorite charity- <br>
The Universal Dog Home of Brooklyn.<br>
So, Harry, whaddya say?<br>
<br>
