If I remain still
If I am alone and silent long enough to hear the sound of my own blood
or Breathing or digestion about the rustling of leaves or the whirr of refrigerator
My father is likely to turn up
He just arrives unbidden in the long running film of my thoughts
Like Hitchcock in his pictures

And he looks for all these 40 plus years of disembodiment
Much like himself big and sandy haired withfreckles at the back of his hands

Perhaps a little more diffident the way it holds himself than I have remembered

He doesn’t stay long and as far as I can tell his visit has no message

Yet years of therapy have left me and make the dark whistling claim that he's finally dead and gone

My father who died when I was seventeen continues to be my principle ghost

A lifelong eminence grise and only my own end will finish it.


Older than my old man now
He died at 63 that is way too young
Now you got to feed me now you got to need me
Now I feel like a faithless son 

Sixty four is awful old
You don’t know what can happen next
hey, I am older than my old man ever was
I'm trying to keep it in context

Yes I am older than my old man
His father died at 43 
From now it's all gravy
I got 20 years more I guess we have to wait and see

I wasn’t sure the day will come
I have been living underneath his thumb
But I don’t feel so free I don’t even feel like me
Now that I don’t have no race to run

I am older than my old man now
I guess that means I kicked his ass
Just that you have survived, that don't mean you feel alive and your demise will come to pass

Nobody's sure exactly why
Everybody has to die
Still it comes this as quite a blow no when you got to go
And the world is gonna pass you by

I am older than my old man
I am older than my old man ever was
I try to keep it in context
I am older than my old man ever was
I am guilty I've outlived my ex








                          Thanks to hughie521324 for correcting these lyrics