I sat down in the garden
And a cat who spoke
He said, "Excuse me thats my place for sitting 'cos its in the shade"
I said, "Mr Pussy you got some tuna stuck badly in your whiskers
And there's a rather large patch of baldness round your leg"
He said, "Shut up! You can talk! 
Look at the left side of your head! 
You look like you've been in a bad experiment"
I said, "I'm not gonna sit here and be bullied by a cat
Especially a little ginger one like that"
He said, "Shut up you, 
I'm strawberry blonde! 
Out in the alley I'm like the Fonz.
All the other cats they worship me
Waving their paws in a fucking frenzie"
"Oh! I see,
There's not much I can say to that!
Except
In action
Let my bulldogs out the trap!"

*Barking and Meowing*