Jon Lajoie - WTF Collective 2 lyrics
rate meMC CONFUSING:
MC confusing back in this bitch
With a parking sandwich and a chicken ticket
I got a liquid face lift from a fig with big tits
And my wrist got twisted by a brick with fake spit
And you don't understand it cause you're not supposed to
Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
And I'm gonna leave soon but first I need to
Drink a Chevey chase face and rape robo cop 2
MC HISTORICAL INACCURACY:
Yo I'm MC historical inaccuracy
I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in seventy-three
I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Franks diary
Which is about the civil war of 1812 in Germany
I'm like the Spanish inquisition when they killed Je-sus
And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my the-sus (thesis)
Like Moses when I focus I can split the red sea
Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army!
MC DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLURALIZES WORD(S):
I'm MC don't know how to pluralize word
I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize
But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive!
MC CANADIAN STEREOTYPE:
Hello I'm MC Canadian stereotype
I'm aboot to get started so let me get off the ice
But I don't want any trouble and I am always polite
Now let's hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like
But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne
Et j'vais dire une phrase en français, parce qu'ici on est bilingue
Oh boy I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee
Let's go to the hospital don't worry here in canada it's free EH
MC FATIGUE:
MC fatigue did ya miss me
I'll be awake for five minutes cause I had a coffee
I'll try to get through my verse but I really don't know
I drank that coffee about five minutes ago
MC CHORUS GUY:
They hired me again to sing
This mother f**cking chorus
I haven't found a f**cking job yet
So I gotta do this bullshit
(I can't take it I'm done)
I don't think that I can sing, another f**cking chorus
I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge, or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did
(I think my dad has a gun)
MC KNOWS TOO MANY FACTS ABOUT BEES:
I'm MC knows too many facts about bees
Fifteen miles an hour is their average speed
A queen can lay up to three thousand eggs in a day
Just 'cause I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay
(MC IN THE CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL):
I'm also MC in the closet homosexual
I hide it 'cause it's easier to be heterosexual
We can't even get married in most states here in America
It's f**cked up! (gay marriage is legal here in Canada!)
MC HOMOPHOBIC F**CKING A**HOLE:
I'm MC homophobic f**cking a**hole
Being gay is evil and it is un-natural
Jesus said the love thy neighbour but only if they are straight
Penises go in vaginas anything else is just insane!
MC EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE RHYMES:
I'm MC extremely inappropriate rhymes
I shake things up like j-fox when I get on the mic
And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeve's horse
Then I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger of course (woah)
MC EXTREMELY POLITICALLY CORRECT:
I'm MC extremely politically correct
I disagree with the previous MC's lyrical content!
It's offensive, insensitive and in very bad taste
Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away
MC FINAL VERSE:
Yo MC final verse here to end the song
One was enough we didn't need a sequel, Jon
Make a fourth show me your genitals or another normal guy
But for now let's end this stupid song with a suicide
MC CHORUS GUY:
This is the last time I will ever sing a chorus
My dads gun was in his closet
And I'm gonna end this bullshit
(I had a good run)
I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I've finished the chorus
Sayonara, and farewell, I guess I'll see you all in hell
(Four, three, two, one!)
DIALOG PART
MC FINAL VERSE: Oh my god, Chorus Guy killed himself!
MC HISTORICAL INNACURACY: Just like John Lennon and JFK.
MC EXTREMELY INNAPROPRIATE RHYMES: And OJ Simpsons wife.
MC KNOWS TOO MANY FACTS ABOUT BEES: Only one bullet? It takes a thousand bee stings to kill a man.
MC DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLURALIZE WORD(S): That is a lot of bee!
MC CONFUSING: There's more blood than a rubber hose bottle of foot!
MC HOMOPHOBIC F**CKING A**HOLE: Shut up queerfags.
MC CANADIAN STEREOTYPE: We don't tolerate that kind of hateful language in Canada!
MC FATIGUE: I'm gonna go call an ambulan(falls asleep, falls on the ground, snores)
MC FINAL VERSE: Who's gonna sing the chorus from now on?
MC VAGINA: Hey. (everyone turns) (closes in on him) You can't spell chorus without...(tilts glasses) vagina.
MC VAGINA: WTF COLLECTIVE? More like, WTF SAUSAGEFEST.
Thanks to Rowan for correcting these lyrics
Thanks to Tang for correcting these lyrics
Thanks to JFR for correcting these lyrics
Thanks to Blakie for correcting these lyrics
Thanks to Impro for correcting these lyrics
Thanks to Duh for correcting these lyrics
Thanks to ZeBedge for correcting these lyrics