Jon Lajoie - WTF Collective 2 lyrics

rate me

MC CONFUSING:

MC confusing back in this bitch

With a parking sandwich and a chicken ticket

I got a liquid face lift from a fig with big tits

And my wrist got twisted by a brick with fake spit

And you don't understand it cause you're not supposed to

Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon

And I'm gonna leave soon but first I need to

Drink a Chevey chase face and rape robo cop 2

MC HISTORICAL INACCURACY:

Yo I'm MC historical inaccuracy

I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in seventy-three

I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Franks diary

Which is about the civil war of 1812 in Germany

I'm like the Spanish inquisition when they killed Je-sus

And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my the-sus (thesis)

Like Moses when I focus I can split the red sea

Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army!

MC DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLURALIZES WORD(S):

I'm MC don't know how to pluralize word

I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl

When there's more than one of something you're supposed to pluralize

But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive!

MC CANADIAN STEREOTYPE:

Hello I'm MC Canadian stereotype

I'm aboot to get started so let me get off the ice

But I don't want any trouble and I am always polite

Now let's hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like

But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne

Et j'vais dire une phrase en français, parce qu'ici on est bilingue

Oh boy I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee

Let's go to the hospital don't worry here in canada it's free EH

MC FATIGUE:

MC fatigue did ya miss me

I'll be awake for five minutes cause I had a coffee

I'll try to get through my verse but I really don't know

I drank that coffee about five minutes ago

MC CHORUS GUY:

They hired me again to sing

This mother f**cking chorus

I haven't found a f**cking job yet

So I gotta do this bullshit

(I can't take it I'm done)

I don't think that I can sing, another f**cking chorus

I think I'm gonna jump off a bridge, or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did

(I think my dad has a gun)

MC KNOWS TOO MANY FACTS ABOUT BEES:

I'm MC knows too many facts about bees

Fifteen miles an hour is their average speed

A queen can lay up to three thousand eggs in a day

Just 'cause I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay

(MC IN THE CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL):

I'm also MC in the closet homosexual

I hide it 'cause it's easier to be heterosexual

We can't even get married in most states here in America

It's f**cked up! (gay marriage is legal here in Canada!)

MC HOMOPHOBIC F**CKING A**HOLE:

I'm MC homophobic f**cking a**hole

Being gay is evil and it is un-natural

Jesus said the love thy neighbour but only if they are straight

Penises go in vaginas anything else is just insane!

MC EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE RHYMES:

I'm MC extremely inappropriate rhymes

I shake things up like j-fox when I get on the mic

And I drop my enemies just like Christopher Reeve's horse

Then I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger of course (woah)

MC EXTREMELY POLITICALLY CORRECT:

I'm MC extremely politically correct

I disagree with the previous MC's lyrical content!

It's offensive, insensitive and in very bad taste

Just like that guy who wrote that song when Michael Jackson passed away

MC FINAL VERSE:

Yo MC final verse here to end the song

One was enough we didn't need a sequel, Jon

Make a fourth show me your genitals or another normal guy

But for now let's end this stupid song with a suicide

MC CHORUS GUY:

This is the last time I will ever sing a chorus

My dads gun was in his closet

And I'm gonna end this bullshit

(I had a good run)

I'm gonna pull the trigger as soon as I've finished the chorus

Sayonara, and farewell, I guess I'll see you all in hell

(Four, three, two, one!)

DIALOG PART

MC FINAL VERSE: Oh my god, Chorus Guy killed himself!

MC HISTORICAL INNACURACY: Just like John Lennon and JFK.

MC EXTREMELY INNAPROPRIATE RHYMES: And OJ Simpsons wife.

MC KNOWS TOO MANY FACTS ABOUT BEES: Only one bullet? It takes a thousand bee stings to kill a man.

MC DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLURALIZE WORD(S): That is a lot of bee!

MC CONFUSING: There's more blood than a rubber hose bottle of foot!

MC HOMOPHOBIC F**CKING A**HOLE: Shut up queerfags.

MC CANADIAN STEREOTYPE: We don't tolerate that kind of hateful language in Canada!

MC FATIGUE: I'm gonna go call an ambulan(falls asleep, falls on the ground, snores)

MC FINAL VERSE: Who's gonna sing the chorus from now on?

MC VAGINA: Hey. (everyone turns) (closes in on him) You can't spell chorus without...(tilts glasses) vagina.

MC VAGINA: WTF COLLECTIVE? More like, WTF SAUSAGEFEST.

Thanks to Rowan for correcting these lyrics

Thanks to Tang for correcting these lyrics

Thanks to JFR for correcting these lyrics

Thanks to Blakie for correcting these lyrics

Thanks to Impro for correcting these lyrics

Thanks to Duh for correcting these lyrics

Thanks to ZeBedge for correcting these lyrics