Jon Lajoie - Fuck Everything lyrics

rate me

Yo, other rappers claim to not give a fuck

Well, step aside, bitches

Cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible

(I don't give a fuck)

About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything

(I don't give a fuck)

I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything

People care about shit, I say, "fuck everything"

Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees

Fuck the sun, I don't need heat or vitamin D

And fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread

And fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead

And fuck roosters, with your useless cock-a-doodle-doo

We invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you

Don't give a fuck about chairs, I prefer to stand

And fuck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan

And fuck the movie "The Fan", starring Wesley Snipes

"Demolition Man's" the only Snipes movie I like

And fuck likin' shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like

Don't give a fuck about not likin' all the shit I don't like

Like tissues, fuck 'em, I'll blow my nose on the couch

And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth

Don't give a fuck about seeing, bitch, fuck my eyes

Fuck visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind

And fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke

And hours are way too long, they should be half-an-hour at most

And fuck coasts, don't give a fuck about where water meets land

And fuck boats, just cause you float, you think you're so fuckin' bad?

And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time

My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but

(I don't give a fuck)

About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything

(I don't give a fuck)

I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Walked into a coffeeshop and ordered a cup

The girl said, "small, medium, large?" I said, "bitch, I don't give a

fuck!"

She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"

I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?!"

Don't give a fuck about beverage size options, motherfucker

And I don't give a fuck about liquids either

They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place

Like human semen when I get it all over my face

I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex

And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead

And fuck biological functions, fuck the human body

I prefer the body of bat and the head of a coyote

I call myself "Batyodi" and I fight crime at night

I know it's similar to Batman, but motherfuck copyright

I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday

Cause I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

And fuck birth, enterin' the world of space and time is a bitch

Searchin' for purpose in the random universe sucks dick

Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?

Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays?

If I want ice, I'll go to the fuckin' corner store and buy a bag

Fillin' you up and waitin' for the water to freeze is a motherfuckin' drag

You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it

I'll replace it with the word "chainsaw" for this chorus

(I don't give a chainsaw)

About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything

(I don't give a chainsaw)

I literally don't give a chainsaw 'bout anything

If there were a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most

I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winnin', yo

And don't even give a fuck about not givin' a fuck

So I do give a fuck - wait, what?

(I give a fuck)

About everything, I love everyone and care 'bout everything

(I give a fuck)

I literally care about every motherfuckin' thing