Jeffrey Lewis - Mosquito Mass-Murderist lyrics

rate me

I’m the Mosquito mass–murderist

and every single word of it’s true

Let me tell about the things that i do

‘cause i got tricks of the trade and all the bugs are afraid

That i'll mistake 'em for a skeetter and i’ll take em to a theater of pain

And when i’m done all that remains is the stain

But i gotta make sure the mosquito is pure

Before i accidentally smash a harmless bug to the floor

but if i see a spider then i know it’s alright

‘cause i can use her as a partner in the killing tonight

Because it’s kill or be killed, or just bitten and itchin'

But for real no mosquito gets a meal in my kitchen

and when i’m hear 'em buzzing then i hold very still

and when i fix my eyes upon 'em i close in for the kill

I’m a mosquito mass murderist

but every single word of it’s true

let me tell you 'bout the things that i do

left hand right hand both hands with the smack

should never enter my realm 'cause you can never go back

one mosquito, two mosquito, three mosquitos and four

i got your crumby little carcases all over my floor

Crush 'em down with the finger, crush 'em down with the hand

Crushin down on my leg when they keep tryin' to land

'cause all they want is my blood but i ain’t tryin' to give it, see

it don’t appear to be your smartest activity

‘cause i got proclivities to fight not to run

If you’re coming like a sucker

You can go out like one .

I’m the Mosquito mass–murderist

and every single word if it’s true

because when i hear 'em buzzing then i kill 'em by the dozen

one mosquito seemed to think that he was smart but he wasn't

'cause it took me a while, and he got in some bites

but he got greedy so i turned him to graffiti mid-flight

Blam! now you're on the wall and it's all over for you

i just leave you as a warning for the rest of your crew

so how do i begin to continue this continuum

They keep on creepin' in but i keep 'em to a minimum

because it's my style to keep 'em sunk(?) in my area

They can keep their west nile and the funky malaria

because when i'm in the woods it is well understood

Every time i see a skeeter gettin' up to no good

i can never back down from givin' him a smack down

I say no to bugs, a zero-tolerence crack-down

Mosquito mass –murderist

and every single word of it’s true

let me tell you bout the things that i do

because it’s not alright to be givin' me a bite

and because i hate scratchin' so i know i gotta catch 'em

and because he tries stabbin' so i know i gotta grab 'em

and because it makes me grumpy when they try to make me lumpy

if he swarms the beam of my flashlight in the dark

i shine it at a spider web and hope that they park

and i laugh as the spider wraps him up like a napkin

Because i’m not the only one who’s good with the rapping

so i might beat ya or a spider might eat ya

so why can't we teach ya that we'll always defeat ya

I’m a mosquito mass murderist

and every single word of it’s true

and now i’ve told 'bout the things that i do

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Thanks to garbo

Thanks to spaceghost for correcting these lyrics