Ivor Bigun - I'm A Wanker lyrics
rate me<b>I'm A Wanker</b> by <i>Ivor Bigun</i><br />
My mother said
that I never should
never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
Their giggling talk I could never understood
And thats why I fell in love with my right hand
(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And I'm always pulling my pudd
I was 25 years old
before I was kissed
and then I found that I prefered
a swift one off the wrist
Its cheap and convenient
and you cant catch VD
Its avalible at anytime and its absolutly free
(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm wanker
I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pudd
Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've pains in my arms
and my dong growing shorter
My knees have turned to water
And I think I'm going blind
I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over Spain
I've wanked in an omibus
I've even had a wank in a train
I've used a badger
and a melon
and a cat
a inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a David Crocket hat
(Chorus)
And thats why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
and im always pulling my pudd
Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I've pains in my arms
and my dong growing shorter
My knees have turned to water
And I think I'm going blind
Thanks to Turn for correcting these lyrics