XTC - No Thugs In Our House lyrics

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Cast of characters<br><br>Graham, a teenager<br>Mother, a busy housewife<br>Father, a conservative husband<br>Policeman, a young constable<br><br>Scene: a kitchen in suburbia, one bright saturday morning<br><br>Act one<br><br>Narrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the<br>Line. her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying<br>Their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. their<br>Wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. a boy in blue is busy<br>Banging out a headache on the kitchen door. all the while graham<br>Slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted<br>To.<br><br>Mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear? <br>We made that clear, we made little graham promise us he'd be a good<br>Boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we<br>Made little graham promise us he'd be a good boy.<br><br>Act two<br><br>Narrator: the young policeman who just can't grow a moustache will<br>Open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of asians who<br>Have been so badly kicked.<br><br>Policeman: is this your son's wallet I've got here? he must have<br>Dropped it after too much beer!<br><br>Mother: oh, officer, we can't believe our little angel is the one<br>You've picked.<br><br>Narrator: and all the while graham slept on, dreaming of a world<br>Where he could do just what he wanted to.<br><br>Mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear? <br>We made that clear, we made little graham promise us he'd be a good<br>Boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we<br>Made little graham promise us he'd be a good boy.<br><br>Narrator: they never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer.<br><br>Policeman: they never read that tattoo on his arm.<br><br>Narrator: they thought that was just a boys club badge he wore.<br><br>Policeman: they never thought he'd do folks any harm.<br><br>Act three<br><br>Narrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the<br>Line. she's singing something stale and simple now this business has<br>Fizzled out. her little tune is such a happy song. her son is<br>Innocent, he can't do wrong, 'cos dad's a judge and knows exactly what<br>The job of judging's all about. and all the while graham slept on,<br>Dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to.<br><br>Mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear? <br>We made that clear, we made little graham promise us he'd be a good<br>Boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we<br>Made little graham promise us he'd be a good boy.<br><br>Mother: no thugs in our house!<br><br>Father: no thugs in our house!<br><br>Complete cast (in unison): no thugs in our house, dear!<br><br>Set design by andy partridge with co-ordination by ken ansell.<br>Stage and scenery by art dragon