Famous Quotes Wrongly Attributed

The quotation is a boon to speakers who want to sound more erudite and impressive. If a famous figure in history or a popular celebrity said it, a phrase must have extra gravitas, the reasoning goes. Less charitable minds might counter that if you have nothing to say, rely on someone else to say it impressively.

Some quotes sound more impressive than others, but quite a few are missing that one vital ingredient that would make them really special: truth. Here's a definitely not exhaustive list of some famous quotes famously made by some famous people... except they didn't.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.“

This phrase is not found in any of Gandhi's writings or recorded speeches. It looks like a simplified version of something the Mahatma did say: “As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.“ But that would never fit on a bumper sticker...

“There's a sucker born every minute.“

We switch from altruism to rampant cynicism; and there's no denying that pioneering circus showman P.T. Barnum was as cynical as they come. However, he was never quite that open about his sharp business practices - one of his competitors used the phrase to describe Barnum's gullible patrons.

"If you gotta ask what jazz is, you'll never know"

Louis Armstrong was a brilliant trumpeter, and his music is still enjoyed by just about everyone, from those who enjoy the apuestas de futbol Argentina has to offer, to those who listen to every beat as they read the newspaper. Armstrong could well be forgiven a flash of ego, but the jazz legend was never that dismissive or arrogant when discussing his music. His response to the question, “What is jazz?“ was actually: “If you still have to ask... shame on you.“ That's according to Salute to Satchmo by Max Jones, published in 1970.

“Paint me as you see me, warts and all.“

This is what Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England after the Civil War that overthrew the monarchy in the 17th Century, supposedly said to artist Sir Peter Lely while sitting for his portrait. It's just the sort of Protestant aversion to vanity that you'd expect from the stern reformer, except there was no evidence recorded in Cromwell's time that he said it. Horace Walpole was the first historian to attribute the words to Cromwell, writing more than a century after his death.

“England and America are two countries divided by a common language.“

This was allegedly a quip made by George Bernard Shaw, but it can't be found in his writings or recorded conversations. Oscar Wilde did write something similar: "We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language," in The Canterville Ghost. As both men had reputations for scathing wit, it seems the bowdlerised version has been attributed to the wrong author.

“She might be able to act it, but she certainly can't sing it!“

Fans of celebrity gossip were convinced that Meryl Streep said this about Madonna, when the latter starred as Evita in Alan Parker's film. The line was repeated gleefully when Meryl triumphed in Mamma Mia, supposedly her “revenge musical“. Only one snag, though: Meryl herself has denied she ever said anything of the kind.