Bob Schneider - A Fine Scabs Christmas lyrics

rate me

It was Thursday night in Jerusalem

And it was cloudy and mean

Ole Jesus went out on the town

To get himself some of that turpentine

He went into a bar and said,

“Can I get a shot of that mead”

The bartender not recognizing ole Jesus said,

“There’s something that you’ll need”

Well now ole Jesus got carded on Christmas

It was such a sight

And Santa’s got a boner and he’s fucking my daughter

Ooohhh on Christmas night

It’s a fine Scabs Christmas

Here in purgatory

All the angels have on fake dicks

It’s just that same ole story

We’re going to hell

We’re gonna spend Christmas in hell

All I want for Christmas is for you to stick your finger in my nuts

All I want for Christmas is for you to stick your tongue all over my nuts

And then I might stick my little christmasy finger in your butt

There was a little boy born in a manger

And they called him Jesus Christ

His mother was a virgin but somehow she still had lice

“Now how’d you get those crabs, mother Mary?”

Ole Joseph did inquire

Then Jesus popped out and he said, ”I’m your sire

I am the Son of God

I am the Son of God

I am hungry but I am the Son of God

And so they invented Melba toast

But Jesus got carded on Christmas

I’ve got a scab on my Christmas