Bo Burnham - My Whole Family (thinks I'm Gay) lyrics

rate me

Every time I time I go to dinner

Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner

I'll sit down at the breakfast table

I can talk, well, they're not able

When I look at them I find

There's a single question on their mind

I wish it could go back to the way it was

It's not easy now because...

My whole family thinks I'm gay

I guess it's always been that way

Maybe it's cause of the way that I walk

Makes them think I like...

Boys

That I like boys

The goddamn question just won't go away

And I get asked every single day

But they way they ask it

Is not in disguise

Like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"

This is the worst, baby,

This was my fear

Now their opinions are crystal clear

Because,

My whole family now is shocked

I'm in the closet and the door is locked

Now my glory days are gone

I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John

My whole family now suspects

Watching SpongeBob had side effects

I'm not gay and that's what I said

If I'm gay, hey god, strike me dead

*coughing fit*

That's weird

Just cause I'm on the cheerleading team

Or my birthday party had a broadway theme

When I go outside, what do I see?

That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G

Because,

I think that god might think I'm gay

What does he know anyway?

My grandma gave me a present just last year

And the card said "Happy birthday, queer"

My whole family thinks I'm fab

There's a guy's butt, hey Bo, take a stab

Why doesn't he get women? There's no other way

It's cause I'm lanky, not cause I'm gay, all right?

Not cause I'm gay

Just cause I'm afraid of the snow

Or my favorite color is... The rainbow

I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must

Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust

Because,

even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay

Just kidding!

You all probably think I'm gay

Man, this song is counter-productive

La la la la...

Because, my whole family thinks I'm gay

What do they know anyway?

You gotta look right through the haze

Easy-bake oven was just a phase

My whole family thinks I'm queer

That is all I ever hear

But I've been as straight as a ramp

If you don't count bible camp

Bible camp...

I'm not gay, I swear