BLOODHOUND GANG - Three Point One Four lyrics

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My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be<br>Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me<br>Lefty? yeah but that was alright<br>She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright<br>My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony<br>I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company<br>Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her l now she's a flunky<br>So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys<br>Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word<br>So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd<br>I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color<br>And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother<br>But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy<br>And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies? <br>Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a rice krispie treat, gee<br>You know what I really want in a girl? me<br><br>I need to find a new vagina<br>Any kind of new vagina<br>It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina<br>Calvin klein? kind of north carolina<br><br>Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt<br>It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up<br>I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters<br>Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture<br>No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese<br>Preferably for me fat-free american singles only<br>I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner<br>Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner<br>Like sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat<br>If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap<br>Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough<br>No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up<br>Just independent like nofx ,smart like janeane garafolo<br>She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know<br>Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the dewey decimal system, gee<br>You know what I really want in a girl? me<br><br>I need to find a new vagina<br>Any kind of new vagina<br>It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina<br>Kevin klein? kind of south carolina<br><br>Vagina vagina vagina vagina<br>Vagina vagina vagina vagina