BLOODHOUND GANG - I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks lyrics
rate meIf your ass is a chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter<br>My friend jerry vandergrift kissed me in home ec. class<br>Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass<br>I said guys I'm like you I like monster trucks too<br>Wanna see how many push-ups I can do? <br>I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks<br>Chicks dig guys that are<br>Queer guys that don't dig<br>Chicks that don't dig guys like me<br>See I'm not queer I'm too ugly<br>But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be<br>Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony<br>Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity<br>But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry<br>Scoring with a super model would be easy<br>Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'<br>Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become<br>That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair<br>No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear<br>I wish I was queer so I could get chicks<br>Chicks dig guys that are<br>Queer guys that don't dig<br>Chicks that don't dig guys like me<br>See I'm not queer I'm too ugly<br>Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes<br>The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by jimmy dean<br>See I'm not to keen on the smell of vaseline<br>No I'm not princess di and I don't wanna be a queen<br>I wish I was queer so I could get chicks<br><br>Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to dirk or lewis<br>Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is kip he's got a lisp he talks like this<br>And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of broadway<br>And appreciate depeche mode and avant garde ballet<br>I wish I was queer so I could get chicks<br>Chicks dig guys that are<br>Queer guys that don't dig<br>Chicks dig guys that are<br>Queer guys that don't dig<br>Chicks dig guys that are<br>Queer guys that don't dig<br>Chicks that don't dig guys like me<br>See I'm not queer I'm too ugly<br>And I don't shave my heiny<br>Don't shave my heiny<br>See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
