Bilge Pumps - The Farmer lyrics

rate me

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock

He sat in the meadow a'shaking his

Fist at the boys who were down by the crick

Their feet in the water, their hands on their

Marbles and playthings and in days of yore

There came a young lady. She looked like a

Pretty young creature, she sat on the grass

She pulled up her dresses and showed us her

Ruffles and laces and white puffy duck

She said she was learning a new way to

Bring up her children and learn them to knit

While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling

Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt

While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her

Eyes at the fellows as girls sometimes do

To make it quite clear that she wanted to

Go for a nice, pleasant stroll on the grass

Then hurry back home for a nice piece of

Ice cream and cake that stood three layers tall

And after desert she was ready to

Go for another walk down by the dock

With any young man with a sizeable

Roll of one hundreds and a big bulge up front

If he'd ask politely, she'd show him her

Little pet dog who was subject to fits

Then maybe she'd let him grab hold of her

Small tender hands with a movement so quick

Then she'd bend on over and suck on his

Soda so sweetly 'til she finished it

Then pull down her panties to rub on her

Hip that she bruised when she ran down the hall

'Cause he tried to force her to lick on his

Candy so tasty made of butterscotch

And then he spread whip cream all over her

Cookies that she had been baking all night

If you think this is dirty, you know you're damned right!