Allan Sherman - When I Was A Lad lyrics
rate meWhen I was a lad, I went to Yale<br />
And I knew then that I could never fail<br />
For I studied very hard and furthermore<br />
I polished up the apple for the professor<br />
(He polished up the apple for the professor)<br />
<br />
I polished up the apple so frequently<br />
That soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key<br />
(He soon had a Phi Beta Kappa key<br />
From polishing the apple very frequently)<br />
<br />
On graduation day, I made a stop<br />
At a very exclusive clothing shop<br />
I opened up a charge account and asked them for<br />
The best grade flannel in the clothing store<br />
(The best grade flannel in the clothing store)<br />
<br />
That suit was a part of a great intrigue<br />
For it proved I was a member of the Ivy League<br />
(It was part of a great intrigue<br />
For it proved he was a member of the Ivy League)<br />
<br />
Then I got a crew cut and a sincere tie<br />
And for my first job I did apply<br />
A job in an advertising agency<br />
Sharpening the pencils of a big VP<br />
(Oh, he honed a lot of pencils for a big VP)<br />
<br />
I sharpened all the pencils so pointedly<br />
That now I am a partner in the agency<br />
(He sharpened all the pencils so pointedly<br />
That now he is a member of the agency)<br />
<br />
I kept my ears open and my big mouth shut<br />
And I learned all the agency's scuttlebutt<br />
I learned who was going out with whom<br />
And who had the keys to the powder room<br />
(And who had the keys to the powder room)<br />
<br />
For the keys to the powder room you see<br />
Is the key to the structure of the agency<br />
(The keys to the powder room is the key<br />
To the structure of the agency)<br />
<br />
I worked real hard for the dear old firm<br />
I learned most every advertising term<br />
I said to the men in the dark gray suits<br />
"Let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes"<br />
(Let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes)<br />
<br />
I ran it up the flagpole perfectly<br />
So now I am a partner in the agency<br />
(He ran it up the flagpole perfectly<br />
So now he is a partner in the agency)<br />
<br />
Now, I have a big office at the end of the hall<br />
With very fancy carpeting from wall to wall<br />
I keep my mouth open and I keep my ears shut<br />
And I've got a little palace in Connecticut<br />
(And he's got a little palace in Connecticut)<br />
<br />
So, I thank old Yale, and I thank the Lord<br />
And I also thank my father who was Chairman of the Board<br />
(And he's grateful to his father<br />
Yes, he's grateful to his father<br />
Yes, he's grateful to his father<br />
Who was Chairman of the Board)