Allan Sherman - Hail To Thee, Fat Person lyrics

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Hail To Thee, Fat Person<br />

I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat.<br />

Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service.<br />

When I was a child, my mother said to me,<br />

"Clean the plate, because children are starving in Europe."<br />

And I might point out that that was years before the Marshall Plan<br />

was ever heard of.<br />

So I would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day.<br />

Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving<br />

in Europe.<br />

But I was wrong. They kept starving. And I got fat.<br />

So I would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny<br />

or in some other way normal--<br />

When you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person,<br />

Do not scoff at that fat person. Oh no!<br />

Take off your hat. Hold it over your heart.<br />

Lift your chin up high. And in a proud, happy voice say to him,<br />

"Hail to thee, fat person!<br />

You kept us out of war