ADAM SANDLER - Toll Booth Willie lyrics

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Performed by adam sandler, rob schneider, tim meadows, david spade, steve koren, tim herlihy, and margaret ruden<br><br>[car approaches]<br>Toll booth willie: welcome to worchester. dollar twenty-five please.<br>M1: hey, how ya doin' toll booth willie? <br>Toll booth willie: good! thanks fer askin, pop!<br>M1: aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!<br>[pays toll and drives off]<br>Toll booth willie: go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!<br><br>[another car approaches]<br>M2: hey, hey, willie! hows it going? <br>Toll booth willie: hey, can't complain, pop. hows 'bout you? <br>M2: oh, great, great. how much? <br>Toll booth willie: the state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop.<br>M2: that's fine. now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!? <br>[pays toll and drives off]<br>Toll booth willie: why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking carlton fisk yer fuckin' head with a louise-ville fuckin' slugger! whadya think of that ass fuck!? <br><br>[another car approaches]<br>F1: hi willie.<br>Toll booth willie: oh, nice to see ya m'am. not a bad day, huh? <br>F1: well, I'm a little lost. could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions.<br>Toll booth willie: well I know my way around new england. I can tell ya that much. so where ya headed? <br>F1: well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. you know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick.<br>[drives off]<br>Toll booth willie: you fuckin' bitch! fuck you! you forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cum guzzling queen!<br><br>[another car approaches]<br>M3: hey willie.<br>Toll booth willie: hey, how are ya? <br>M3: here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself.<br>[pays toll and drives off]<br>Toll booth willie: dah, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck! eat shit! eat my shit!<br><br>[another car approaches]<br>Bishop nelson: hello willie. good to see you.<br>Toll booth willie: ahhh, bishop nelson. nice to see ya. that was quite a sermon you had the other day.<br>Bishop nelson: hey, well I do my best.<br>Toll booth willie: dollar twenty-five, bishop.<br>Bishop nelson: dollar twenty-five, willie. isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!? <br>[pays toll and drives off]<br>Toll booth willie: ohhh! have another one, you fuckin' lush! it's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!<br><br>[another car approaches]<br>M5: hey!<br>Toll booth willie: well hey!<br>M5: yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!? <br>[pays toll and drives off]<br>Toll booth willie: well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard! go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!<br><br>[another car approaches]<br>F2: hi.<br>Toll booth willie: oh, hi. how are ya? <br>F2: fine, thank you. how much is the toll please? <br>Toll booth willie: for you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five.<br>F2: here ya go.<br>[pays toll]<br>F2: thank you.<br>[begins to drive off]<br>Toll booth willie: hey! hey! honey! would you like a receipt with that? <br>F2: oh, I almost forgot. thank you so much.<br>[toll booth willie scribbling a receipt for her]<br>Toll booth willie: and here ya are.<br>F2: umm, do you think you could sign it? <br>Toll booth willie: oh, uh.. sign it? <br>F2: yeah, sign toll booth willie was here.<br>Toll booth willie: ok, sure. uhh, by the way, what is this for? <br>[signing receipt]<br>F2: just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. you understand.<br>[drives off]<br>[crumples up paper]<br>Toll booth willie: fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! you're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' o<br>The booth! [opens the door and runs out of the booth]<br><br>[car screeches and hits him]<br>Toll booth willie: ooooh! my fuckin' leg!<br>M6: hey! you ran over toll booth willie!<br>M7: oh my god! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a<br>Dried up stinky dick licker.<br>Toll booth willie: why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! when this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!<br><br>[everyone cussing eachother out]