Hymn - A Man Walks Into A Bar lyrics

rate me

Here I am sat in a Bar and a Man walks in.

A man walks into a bar in Kemp Town and says

"I fuckin' hate queers

I tell you what

If one came near

I'd smash a glass in his fuckin' face.

I'd mess him up good

Bits of ponce all over the place"

(LAUGHING)

I'm ENGLISH and I'm Hard.

The barman looks confused but addresses the man all the same

"You're a man of extreme views

So I'm a little perplexed

Why you have chose to booze

In a rub-a-dub-dub

In the hub of a town where

The men, they hold hands in two's"

The man looked irritated and leant forward.

"I'm an Englishman

And I go where I damn well please

No shirt lifter will dictate

Where I can buy a beer

I bet you're one of them, aint you?

If I catch you looking at my arse

Then I'll fuck you up too!"

(Laughing)

The barman handed him his beer

"I'm not gay

& if you kicked off in here

Then I wouldn't stand in your way.

You're obviously a bloke

Who wouldn't bat a eyelid

If you were to choke

Someone who stood in your path."

Would you?

The man took a large gulp of his drink.

"Too right, I'm a hard fucker me

Nobody messes with a geezer who confesses

To regularly filling up " AnE ".

It's not right all these fucking perverts, towel heads & immigrants

Polluting my fair Eng-ger-land.

The Germans had it spot on.

With the extermination camps and the gassing.

Our race needs cleansing.

The asylum seekers send em fucking packing"

"Cos they are all a bunch of paki cunts

I fucking hate the runts

I want to step on their face 'n' kick their bitches in their cunts

Cos I'm fuckin' 'ard I'm from England. You'd better look at me BARMAN.

Cos I'm a fucking CUNT. You can see it in my Smile.

Oh, by the way. I'm a football supporter too.

I love United for a fight.

YEAH.! Kicking Pakis' keeps me up all fucking night.

I fucking loves it. You can see the tat on my arm,

Hitler had it on his uniform.

(Laughs)

"Don't be scared of me, your the BARMAN.!

You feed me booze."

The barman was careful not to look the man square in the eye when he said

"You're not going to understand

A single word I say

As far as you're concerned

Je parle au francais

Years of influence from the right wing views

Inherited ignorance & the tabloid news

Has turned you into the man

I see before me

You're a victim because you blame others

For misfortunes in life

Anybody different will do

All potential targets for your butterfly knife.

The crime of nonconformity

Shall be punished via you

You mete out your justice

Enforced by fists & boots

When you reach the end

You will look back at what you have achieved

A trail of blood & fear

You're tortured soul will be unable rest

You'll be confined to your spirit prison

An eternity of hell

Your guilt, you're soul, company.

You will have failed the test"

The man gulps the last of his pint and says

"What the fuck you are going on about?"

A man walks into a bar in Kemp town

Another man walks into the same bar

One man leaves with blood on his shirt

The other man is wheeled out and he is badly hurt

Another pub, another night

Framed by sirens & blue flashing light.

They fucking deserve it, the fucking Queers,

The Fucking Pakis the FUCKING NIGGERS,

They all Fucking need it.

Cos I'm an Englishman, and I have my fun.

I watch the football, and I drink lots of beer

Then I go out into the street and I kick a fucking queer.

They bleed real good, when I step on their face.

My BOOT cracks in their face.

It's a fucking disgrace...

Their teeth are in the sole of my boot.

How DARE those fucking queers destroy my boot.

I'm a fucking NAZI man, an' I love it.

I'm always fucking right.

The aryan race is for me.

I'm a football supporter 'n' I love united.

I like to beat the fucking people up.

Cos I thinks I'm really 'ard.

My mates all love it, on a Saturday Night.

(Laughs)

A man walks into a bar in Kemp Town

Another man walks into the same bar

One man leaves with blood on his shirt

The other man is wheeled out and he is badly hurt

Another pub, another night

Framed by sirens & blue flashing light.

Dispatch...

This is dispatch, we have a person. he is on his death bed.

Yeah, we hope he is going to make it. He's received a stab wound

To his chest, also his face is a bit of a mess.

I think we are going to need the Helicopter on this one.

Mate... Are you alright.?

You gonna pull through.?